Summer/Sleep Over Epic Fail/Martha's Vineyard in My life both public and private!

Well summer camp ends today. Leaving at noon and driving to Martha’s Vineyard w/ Jake when I get done. This was a last minute decision. I am not a fan of doing things last minute. If it was up to me I would have my entire summer planned out to the minute by Memorial Day. But Jake has off for the next few days and I do enjoy going to Martha’s Vineyard. We will stay w/ my parents when we are there. House they have is 4 bedrooms so they have plenty of room. My brother flew in yesterday and will be there also while Jake and I are there. My brother is a recovering alcoholic so we all try to keep the drinking to a minimum when we are around him. Not a big deal for me as I am not much of a drinker. Neither is Jake from what I can tell. My dad really likes to drink. My mom doesn’t drink around Kyle. But I am sure it will all work out. I am sure my parents will plan a big fish/lobster dinner on Saturday. My dad want me to bring my golf clubs and he, Kyle, my mom and I will all go out golfing Saturday. I feel weird as then I would have to leave Jake alone. But I asked Jake and he said he was okay w/ it. They have my dog there so Jake will have some company. After we golf my dad will want to go out for a beer. My mom and Kyle will head back to the house. Poor Jake will be there w/ my mom and Kyle. He has never met my brother and he has met my mom once. Poor guy.

My dad is driving home on Monday to work the rest of next week. Then driving back next Friday morning to get my mom and pack up and head home for the rest of the summer. Kyle is flying back to Syracuse on Thursday. My parents then rent out their house for the rest of the summer. Jake and I are taking the ferry over so we won’t have a car there. We may rent one but not sure. Will have to see how expensive it is. I hate all the last minute stuff and not having a plan on what we are doing there. But it will be nice to get away for a few days and I like bike riding on the Vineyard as it has great bike trails and a lot of fun shops and excellent restaurant’s. And since Jake has never been there I guess we should rent a car and explore the Island. Lots of fun sights there. And I can get away from my family for a few hours. It is a very dog friendly Island so we can take Bella w/ us and just enjoy.

Last Saturday I decided to ask Jake to stay over so we could go for a run on Sunday morning and watch Gone Girl Saturday night. He agreed and it sounded like a great plan. I don’t cook or should I say I cook very little. So I stopped at a local BYOB restaurant in our neighborhood and got Italian take out. It was quite good. Place I go to has excellent salads and angel hair pasta w/ Bolognese sauce. They also make there own bread and have great deserts. Meal was terrific. Shared a small bottle of wine and had a fun meal. We watched the movie which I have already watched twice before. It was quite good even a third time. After the movie I was really tired so we decided to go to bed. It was an epic fail. Not sure why but Jake just wasn’t all that interested in fooling around. I was. I tried to initiate things a couple of times. But he said he was tired and just not feeling it. I even pulled on his penis and offered him a beej but this didn’t do anything either. When something like this happens it just really screws w/ my confidence. I will admit w/ my shirt off I look kinda like a 13 yo boy. Lucky to be an A cup. So I am not sure what the problem is or was. I think I am attractive and keep myself fit. So after the rejection I made an excuse to let out Bella and went downstairs. I grabbed BOB on my way downstairs and had to satisfy myself. I affectionately call BOB Mr. Pink. How Mr. Pink got his name is a story for another day. But this was not what I had planned. We got up early Sunday and went for a nice 6 mile run. Stopped at the deli and got bagels. Showered together and I went to church and Jake went home.

Not sure if Jake is just not very confident or hasn’t been w/ a lot of girls. I am not going to force things but I do need companionship and I think all the 27 yo guys I usually meet also want some companionship. So this is just messing w/ my head. I have a real problem w/ over thinking things. I seem to always try to look for what is wrong instead of finding what is right. Last guy I dated was ready to mess around 24/7.

Well off to camp and then a 5 hour drive w/ Jake. I may try to ask him about the other night. Not sure. I hate rejection and am sometimes very uncomfortable talking about it. Let me see how the ride goes.

Enjoy the weekend all and have great Friday!