I don’t know that what I’m about to relay to you or the people screening this letter will stand out enough to consider reading the rest of my letter but I’ll just come out and plainly tell it how it is. I am no elegant or professional writer even though it’s all I’ve ever done my whole life to cope with things. I can’t guarantee perfection and detail in my story either. But I’ll start with this simple fact:. I have 5 brothers and yes, I am the only girl. From birth to 5 years of age, I was emotionally and physically abused. Not to mention the major neglect. At the time, my 2 brothers and I thought it was normal to live that way. We might have been too young to believe that life didn’t owe us a thing–but it was just that. Long story short, our biological mother abandoned us at the babysitters and never returned. Almost a year went by and she was thought to have disappeared forever. Our grandparents filed for guardianship and the court day had arrived. And with these simple words, all she had to say was this: “I want my kids back.” The judge granted her wish without a single question. Like where were you for a whole year? What makes you think that that’s okay? I was 6 years old.
Fast forward a little bit. From 6 to 15 years old I suffered from brutal psychological, physical, and sexual abuse. I was constantly raped and brainwashed till I was 15. Every night was filled with tremendous amounts of fear. I wanted to die, but instead one of my abusers died due to a heart attack under the age of 50. I could finally breathe. Soon after my abuser’s death, our family moved into town. I turned 16 in July. The situation didn’t seem to let up though. Our biological mother began a relationship with a crazy drunken man. She too, began to drink constantly. At this point, I was pulled from school in the fifth grade. I had no middle school or high school education. Our biological mother pulled all of us from school for a few reasons. People began to get suspicious and call Child Protective Services (CPS). The end result was nothing but a knock on the door and us hiding so that we wouldn’t be split up into the system (a fear tactic our mother used). Another reason was to pressure me into taking care of the boys while she did drugs or went to the bar for a good ole time. I potty trained my 4 year old brother at 9 years old. I took care of them while they were sick with chickenpox, puking everywhere (myself included), and bed wetting because of severe nightmares and night terrors. I couldn’t teach them how to read so I taught them a little bit of sign language. My brothers lack nutrition and education. You might say educational neglect isn’t a real circumstance but I experienced it first hand. Colin (the youngest) has never been to school. He is now 10 years old and being sheltered from the outside world. Jared, Nick, and Colin are at a severe disadvantage. I did my best to raise my brothers but I feel it wasn’t good enough.
Eventually, the years of abuse took a toll on me. I ran away. I hid out because I wasn’t the age of majority. I turned 17 and I was free to come out of hiding. This time my grandma got guardianship of me. I didn’t realize the kind of impact I left on my brothers. By the end of the summer, Jared (3rd youngest brother) ran away. My grandma was unable to keep him because of possible kidnapping charges. Jared was 11 years old at the time and he walked a little over 3 miles to get away. Soon after that occurred, my 15 year old brother ran away. My grandma got guardianship of him also. By Christmas time, My oldest brother, myself, and my 15 year old brother left and never looked back.
3 years have passed. I am now 19 years old and I cannot begin to describe my life through words. I have faced terrors that I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. I am not a survivor of rape, molestation, emotional abuse, physical abuse, neglect and educational neglect. Instead I am a conqueror. The heart breaking part of my story are my 3 brothers. When I ran away... I left them behind to face the wrath and terror of our mother. Colin’s health condition concerns me. Colin’s teeth are turning black and rotting. I called CPS thinking I had something concrete for them to go on, but nothing was ever done. Colin and Nick (the second to the youngest) don’t know how to read, let alone write. My 3 brothers are being abused. I have called CPS a million times, but I am afraid to call one more time in fear that she’ll pick up and move to be never seen again. The point of making my story heard is that I put a loud and powerful voice to the voiceless. The system has failed my brothers and I. It has forced us to break the law and run away because we felt trapped. No matter what I do, my mother will find a loophole and worm her way out of trouble. I have called CPS countless times. Social workers knock on the door. No answer. If she does answer, she will refuse access to the home. After she knows they’ve come knocking on the door, she will be ready to present herself. She will play the system like a storm of violins. I wish I could explain in further detail. All that I am left with is my ability to plead for help because I can’t think of a better way than to put a powerful and influential voice behind 3 innocent children who are still being abused.
Sincerely,
I love you times a million<3
Loading comments...