im assuming bad news. honestly…i am just so frustrated right now about this whole fucking situation.
yesterday, i tried to call my principal. she gave me her phone number, which she told me was her cell number. i called. and called. and called. for about two hours. odd thing was, there was no voicemail, which i thought was very strange. but some people dont set it up because they dont check it so whatever. finally called the school and spoke with the secretary. she took my number after i explained what i had been going through and she told me my principal was out to lunch. not sure if she was coming back for the rest of the day (this was around 2:30 or 3pm) and she was on her way out as well. i still tried to call the other number with no luck. i posted on FB that i was frustrated with the whole situation, since i have been waiting to hear about my position since MAY (it is JULY!) and didnt think much of it. I also sent her an email last night saying to call me and that I had been trying to reach her all day, both at the school and on her cell.
i called her number again today. i finally got through. she said she hadnt received any calls from me on her cell. i said i had been calling this number, which she then tells me is her office phone, not her cell (cue super frustrated pregnant woman face). i said “oh, well this is the number you gave me” and left it at that. she then says she is STILL LOOKING AT HER BUDGET AND DOES NOT HAVE AN ANSWER FOR ME. it took all i had not to be rude and nasty to her. she took my cell phone number and said she would call me sometime next week, probably Monday or Tuesday. i said ok that was fine, thinking to myself this is the third or fourth time she’s told me this. then she says to me “oh, by the way, i’ve gotten a few phone calls about something you posted on FB about me. i would appreciate it if you didnt post anything about me on your FB page.” umm…all i said was i was frustrated i couldnt get ahold of her. i didnt say anything negative about her or the school. it was stupid of me i guess to post anything about it, but i didnt think about it at the time. i was a little taken aback by the comment, so i just said “oh…umm…ok” and that was that. i emailed my boss from the organization i work for later and told him the whole story. he’s going to call her tomorrow to speak with her (i guess he hasnt called her yet…also frustrated…) and he said that the FB thing could possibly cost me the position at the school.
at this point…i want to just tell my boss find me somewhere else and get the hell out of that school. im sick of the kids. im sick of her. i know who probably told her about my post and im not a fan of hers either…there just doesnt seem to be anything that i want to keep there other than a job. honestly, there will be some students that i miss and some students i feel bad about leaving, but at the same time i am not being appreciated for the teacher that i am. yes, i am a young teacher, but i know what im doing and im good at what i do. the culture of this school is not the right fit for me. there is too much yelling and control over the kids instead of nurturing and leading. i feel like im always so tired and so stressed and so frustrated each day i come home because of the same problems…lack of administrative support, student disrespect and no consequences for any of our tier three students (the ones with major behavior problems). im currently teaching at a summer camp (which im also not crazy about, but its a damn paycheck) and the kids are so much more inviting and wanting to learn and happy. i feel like the teacher i always wanted to be, if that makes any sense. im helping my students explore this summer instead of yelling at them to follow directions. i clap to quiet them down once and we get on with what we were doing. i dont need to scream to get their attention. i dunno…i guess what im saying is that im not happy at my current school.
i need to move on, with or without my organization. yes…i made a FB blunder. we’ve all had one of those. im not posting anything else online about it. i just need to look ahead to the fall and keep applying and emailing other schools. something will fit. i need to find something closer to home anyway. spending way too much money on tolls every month and too much time in traffic every day. i need to feel wanted and appreciated by the school i work for. this school just isnt it, unfortunately. i guess thats why there is always a revolving door of teachers there. sad for the kids. they already have unstable home lives and now their school life has to be unstable too.
sigh well…at least i havent cried over it yet. i cant be that upset lol.
Later.
~mana~
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