1 July 2015 in Diary

The last entry I wrote was seven, nearly eight, months ago when Dad passed away. I’ve either been too lazy or busy to write or too afraid to actually write about my emotions.

2015 has been hectic. I started working back at the family business one day a week at the beginning of January. The first couple of weeks working four days at my insurance job were fine. Most people were still on holidays or in holiday mode from Christmas/New Years.
I went to Bali for a week at the end of January, came back to work and had gained a fresh, new loss adjuster to work for on top of the two I already work for. Being new I was told he probably wouldnt produce much work to begin with. HA! Like f**k he did.
It was the beginning of working late to just try and get most of my work done but I couldnt work long or fast enough to keep up. I lost sight of my study time and exercise and my health in general. Then the April storms hit and my whole life seemed to be consumed by work - the work I was trying to leave in order to take on the family business (one of them) full time.

The storms were the straw that broke the camel’s back. I hated working there more than any other time I had hated working there. Not only that, on the first day of the storms my younger sister had a stroke and even though she was fine, she was still high risk and Mum had to move the office home so she could be there with her if anything happened.
Had I quit insurance and started at the family business full time at the beginning of April like I had planned, I probably could have helped Mum out a lot more.
I finally bit the bullet and decided that it wasnt my fault the storms hit, waited for things to calm down a bit and tendered my resignation.

That was nearly two months ago and I still kind of work there. Granted I love one of my bosses there and she’s pretty much the only reason that I am still there.
I stayed on as a casual on what was meant to be 2-3 days a week and always ended up being 3 because of the workload, and now its down to one day a week and the remaining four are now finally managing Dad’s business - as of this week.

Not really sure what I’ve gotten myself into. Before Dad passed away I told him I would take on the business, so of course I’m going to give it a go. Plus I worked with him for six years before moving to London so its not like I have no idea what the business is about. The work itself is quite easy. Its the employees that are hard.
There is one that pretty much keeps the business going but the other two just seem to have no respect for anyone but themselves. Leave late, finish early, call in sick ALL the time. Mum fired one about two months ago because she caught him at home when he said he was at work. A new guy starts on Monday and we’re having a meeting with the current three on Thursday to let them know I’m the manager now and we know about them cutting corners at work. So hopefully things start to change.

It really effing sucks seeing people be so careless when I’ve seen my parents work so hard to get the businesses where they are today. And its an even bigger blow that they got worse and less respectful after Dad died. Who does that?! Mum has enough on her plate and has done absolutely nothing to be treated with no respect. Inadvertently it doesnt just affect Mum, it affects all of us because no one wants to see Mum have to deal with any more than what she’s already dealing with.
Here’s hoping now they’ll realise someone IS in the office full time and we ARE keeping an eye on them.

Other than that though, its enjoyable. And even though I’ve only been here three days and only just started staying at Mum’s place while I’m up here working (being 90 mins from where I live… up to three hours in shit traffic. Eff you Sydney), I’m liking the change in pace when it comes to lifestyle. Not rushed in the morning, work out in the factory after work, ten minute drive home and heaps of time left to study (or play dress ups with Danielle as we did the other night haha).
I could get used to it. I am fast getting over living in the city. Of course it has its perks but those perks are the same for everyone else in the city and it seems like everyone else is always there at the same time I am. And I hate crowds. I tend to hate people in general actually. At the same time I feel like I’d get bored leading a quiet, sleepy existence somewhere quieter… eventually.
Hopefully this set up will keep me happy with having a 50/50 lifestyle.

One thing I am super happy about living in Sydney is the array of choices I had when selecting the venue for Eli and my two year anniversary coming up after we hit Splendour in the Grass. And having an excuse to dress up. And buy something new.