24. for sale notice. in nojomo 2013

I have, for sale, two medium sized female children who cannot spend more than 2 minutes innthe same room without descending into carnage. The aforementioned medium sized female children will constantly run to their future owner whilst screaching the words "I'M TELLING!!!" and it does not matter one whit where one hides, they WILL find one and tell one. But, once they have told one and one actually intervenes they will start giggling together and start playing. Ignoring all that one has just said.

And then the fighting will start again.

Also looking for a good home. One husband. This item will not screech nor tell tales however, if the words 'alcohol' and 'free' are in a sentence this item loses all sense of age and immediately becomes 18 once more. This item will drink as much as it can aquire while becoming more inebriated, louder and more foul mouthed. It will look around the room with a smug look on its face and will forget all its responsibilities, often wandering off in search of more alcohol without letting one know.

By supper time this item will be asleep, face down, wherever it happens to be. At some point it will begin vomitations. The good news is that this item is always able to achieve a preferable destination to allow its Vomitous requirements.

The following day the aforementioned item will be monosyllabic. It will grunt on occasion and will not leave the pile of fabric known as its Pit. During this time it will berate itself much and often, though an outward apology is unlikely.

All free to good homes.