Father's Day in the U.S. of A. in Muddling Through As Best I Can
- June 21, 2015, 9:53 a.m.
- |
- Public
Good morning. I was supposed to be at work today, but it is Father’s Day here and I just wanted to spend it with Brandon and Brian. It was “thoughtless comments” day at work yesterday.
A woman asked me what we were doing for the day, and I told her just spending time together, and we pick up Sienna for our three day visit at noontime. She said, “You only get half as much Father’s day, because half of your sons are gone now”. I know she meant it as some sort of expression of sympathy, so I muttered something polite and made what was probably a very unsubtle exit.
People mean well, but sometimes the things they come up with for lack of something to say....well, silence can still be golden.
Brian was upset with me yesterday. Pamala gave Brad and Shea a RV as a wedding gift. It’s one she was given by her parents and now since their deaths, she wants it back. He thinks in light of the custody battle over the children that we should just keep it.
I believe you win by doing the right thing, and witholding it from her would be wrong. It was hers before she gifted it, so she should have it back.
Sometimes, though, moral character is hard to dredge up in certain situations. I guess that’s when it counts the most. If I stoop to the levels of behavior the other side has, I don’t deserve to have those girls in my life either and I won’t be the kind of role model that lives that sort of life.
I know Brian was up and posting on facebook at nearly 4am, so I don’t expect to hear from him until at least noon. Jessica has to work, but she came by last night and left me a strawberry cheesecake and a beautiful card. She is an outstanding young woman now, it’s truly been a privelige to be part of her life. My sons biological fathers may have done little else of worth in their lives, but they did leave me some beautiful children to raise, and I am extremely honored to have had a part in the young men and women they became.
So I am going to spend today remembering Austin and Bradley because they are still my sons, even though they are apart from me now, as well as spending the day with Brandon, Brian and my grandchildren to remind me that there is still life worth living even in the darkest hours.
If I’ve learned nothing else it’s that life can knock a person down, beat and bruise them beyond recognition, but it can’t make you stay down without your own cooperation. I almost gave up when I lost Austin; but Brandon, Bradley, Brian and Jessica gave me reason to go on and to regain a sense of normalcy in my life.
So, I’m going to do what I’ve always tried to do. I’m going to continue to try to do the right thing, and council my now grown children to do the same, even when it’s sometimes the most difficult thing. I’m going to cherish this time with my family and try to facilitate the healing process for us all. It won’t happen quickly, but it will happen.
It doesn’t matter how grievous the wound, eventually the scars heal and the pain lessens.
I need tea. ⋅ June 21, 2015
Xxxxxx