Jessica, 04/17/15 in Ryan

Two days later, on a Friday night, I was browsing through AFF to see if I had any interesting options and I got a text from Jessica. It said, “Have you had dinner?”

I hadn’t eaten, even though it was late, because I often don’t have much to eat at night. So I told her I was hungry and asked if she wanted to get some food together. She suggested a place near her, which was all the way on the other side of the city for me. But I agreed and drove up to see her.

We had a nice meal and a few beers and we talked about non sexual things. I was starting to think she really did just want dinner. Near the end of the meal she asked me if I thought it was weird that she wanted to hang out with me, considering we never really had a friendship outside of work. I told her I thought it was nice and that I’d like to spend more time with her.

We went back to her place and it was really nice. I started wondering if she was paid more than I was. We sat on her couch and talked. I decided to made the first move, so I laid down and put my head in her lap, face up, and just kept talking to her like it was normal. She didn’t really react, but after a few minutes started running her hands through my hair while we talked. I told her it felt good. She was quiet for a second and then asked me if I wanted a massage.

I eager agreed. We went into her bedroom, and I thought it was interesting that he bed was neatly made. She put a towel down and said she was going to go grab some coconut oil. Once I was alone in her room, I stripped completely and laid on her bed face down.

She walked in and laughed, told me to make myself at home. She got behind me and rubbed some oil on my back. I’ve never gotten a professional massage, so I’m not sure what that’s like, but she definitely knew what she was doing. She rubbed me down and made me feel great. It was nearly 45 minutes later when she finally made is sexual, spreading my legs and rubbing my inner thigh.

I told her she was making me wet, and she touched me to verify. I was so excited from all the rubbing, that just her brief touch on my pussy really felt incredible. I looked up at her and said, “I want to make love to you.”

The words immediately sounded weird. Why did I say that instead of sex or fuck? I couldn’t take them back. I thought she would just melt into my arms and we would go at it passionately, but instead she hesitated. I asked her what was wrong. She didn’t want to answer but then finally told me she was worried about her feelings for me. Feelings for me? Like how? She said she knew I had just talked about having fun sex but repeated again that she had feelings for me.

I didn’t respond because I really wasn’t sure what to say. So she continued. She said that she liked the idea of having a fuck buddy, but she already knew it wouldn’t work that way with her. She said she always thought of herself as straight, but now was struggling with the fact that she really wanted to be in a relationship with me.

I had sworn off relationships for a while, but I didn’t want to say that to her while she was pouring out her heart to me. I also wasn’t really sure I was interested in being in a relationship with a woman. Mostly what I wanted at that moment was sex with her, I wanted to stop her from killing the mood.

I told her that we should just go with what feels good and not overthink it. Such a California thing to say. I spread my legs again for her and told her I wanted to feel her tongue on my clit. I was hoping I could have success with being blunt. She did exactly what I asked.

We had sex for nearly two hours. There was a passion and a sensuality that I really hadn’t felt in a long time. When we were done, we more or less just passed out in her bed.

In the morning, she got up to pee, and then came right back into bed and said, “Make love to me again?” The second time the sex didn’t last as long, but was just as amazing.

We got up and had breakfast together. Just whatever she had in the house, bagels and fruit. We took a shower together. I watched her towel herself off and was thinking to myself how very attracted to her I was. That thought caught me by surprise.