This weekend was great. We spent so much time with friends. The kids played and played and played. Miles had his frist time on a slip and slide. And he behaved for the most part. Kaylee got to go to a friends house Sunday night and have a sleepover after Arvinds cookout.
But sunday I saw something I was not ok with. Finally got to see Catos. Got to see where Allan goes on sundays to show off his bike and hang out. Every conversation I have had with this man about this place has made me feel that this place was a small hang out spot. Oh no, it looks like fast and furious. Hunders of cars. Lots of girls. Makes me feel uncomfortable. Allan says I am insecure and that is my fault. Well yes I am insecure but I am allowed to feel how I feel. I dont know why he gets mad at me for feeling things. Its like I am supposed to be a robot with him. No feelings, no opinions. Drives me insane and breaks my heart.
I am back at the gym today. I brought low calorie food. Please lord let me do what I need to do to lose this weight so i can be smoking hot again and make him worry instead of me worrying about him all the time.
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