Sex and Drugs in Tea at the Cabin in the Woods

  • May 21, 2015, 10:52 p.m.
  • |
  • Public

A month ago the college showed a documentary about sexual assault on college campuses. The Great Room was full of students and the discussion after was candid and insightful. I had asked my students to write a reflection about their reactions to the film for extra credit. To my surprise, the young men had a much stronger reaction to the sexual assaults and the overwhelming tolerance of it on campuses across the USA than the young women had. One of the points made and repeated in the papers I received from my students was that the men or women who rape or sexually abused others don’t do this just one time, that it is a pattern of behaviors.

Yesterday we got a notice from the Provost that one of our program directors, a 30 year old male, was arrested. We were told he was suspended from his position and that if he or the media contacted any of us to report it to the Provost, our PR department and the local police. This evening I learned that he had gone for a drink after work on Tues. afternoon - after the all employee end of the semester celebration, at a local establishment and invited 2 female staff members to his apartment. They smoked a little pot and one of women started feeling weird and called her husband to come and pick her up. The other woman stayed at the apartment. The woman who left was contacted in the morning by the police and asked to go to the hospital for blood work. He had drugged them both and subsequently has been charged with rape of the other woman. This is a handsome man, bright and engaging - Why the HELL would he need to drug someone and rape her? That seems to fit the profile of many of the offenders who were high lighted in the documentary, which makes me wonder how many of our students did he assault and how many are going to come forward now? This is very sad and extremely disconcerting. No campus is safe from sexual assault, but ours is small and we can’t tolerate this type of behavior. The worst part is he worked with a lot of young women on a daily basis and now that most the students are away from campus, will we ever know if he hurt any of them? I hope this was the only time he did something like this - but the thought of it will be hard to shake.

Since I have been at this college, one professor was arrested for child porn and endangering a minor (14 year old boys), and one woman (a professional tutor) was charged with molesting a 10 year boy (this was proven to be a revenge move by an ex-husband - claiming she was sexually inappropriate with his son and that it never happened.) I have had at least a half dozen students claim to have been raped - one of them was severely traumatized and completely changed her - she had been a lively and engaged student who withdrew from everyone, suffered depression and began missing classes, making excuses and giving up on herself. She graduated last year and had turned things back around, but she was never the same girl I had gotten to know when she first got to campus. It is heart breaking, the long-term scars left behind after something like this.

We try to educate people, to teach them to be careful and as jaded as it sounds, to not trust anyone. What just happened only confirms this. Who do you trust these days?


Last updated May 21, 2015


Herzog May 21, 2015

When I was a postgrad, it was a shock to witness the way certain male lecturers and tutors manipulated students (typically 18-25 yo) into sexual relationships, some which were likely abusive in nature. I believe that such men were ingrained sexual predators, and sought out vulnerabilities in young women that were living away from their parents, insecure about their appearance, intellect and personality. Out in the workforce among older women, they would have been dismissed as pompous, insecure losers approaching middle age, or hit with sexual harassment claims, but in college they could pose as the older, 'more experienced' partner.

whowhatwhere May 21, 2015

When I went off to college my Mom told me to never drink anything that someone I just met or I didn't know well gave me unless it was still sealed in the bottle. I tended to hang out with nerds though, none of this drinking and pot stuff.

I think women are more likely to dismiss it because our whole life we have been told, boys will be boys.

Daps Karma May 22, 2015

I have had two close calls and feel bad that I never told anyone about them because how many more women out there didn't get out before the rape occurred after me? One was a coach and high school teacher and he did later get arrested and found guilty of improper sexual behavior on a student and some sort of criminal charges as well. Rape is about power, it is so easy to forget that. Being sexually abused, molested or raped eats at the victims self-esteem. I was an educated, professional woman in my 40s and happily married (not looking for an affair) and none of that meant anything to my attacker but for years I questioned myself continually wondering if I said or did something to encourage him or make him think I was interested - in truth the answer is NO! And he, because of the ego he had, believed I didn't have the right to say no and I challenged his power, plain and simple.

ermentrude May 22, 2015

raeven May 22, 2015

Trust no one, but also, don't let it stop you from life. I think that the current culture of social justice warriors are actually doing more harm than good when it comes to the power we have as individuals. (not that this has anything directly to do with what you have posted).. People, (especially women or tranfolks) need to have the confidence and empowerment to trust their intuition. No matter how much we want to tell the bad people not to rape.. they always will. Period. I can tell you that the rapes that happened to me after childhood all happened because I did not trust my intuition or did not know how to say NO. I put myself in bad situations all the time. I was a victim from as early as I can remember due to the abuse from childhood. I am not victim blaming here... I don't blame myself, but oh my god, do I wish I had been given the tools to recognize and tap into my own power and stand up for myself and get myself out of the situations I was in. I also wish I had been given the self esteem and tools from an early age to confidently take care of myself.

OK.. now that I've written a book here... I'll shut up. :-)

Food Master raeven ⋅ May 23, 2015

Ah, yes, BUT you have those tools now and are better to understand your gut feelings so much more than so many. YOu are a very confident, strong and beautiful woman and DON"T let anyone tell you differently.

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