Yesterday was an emotional day for me. For those of you who follow me on various other social media, (instagram, facebook) you’re probably sick of hearing about this by now.
We finished cleaning out the spare room yesterday. Aside from a tall, black bookcase and various wall hangings, the room is completely empty. For the past year, that room has served as my own personal sanctuary. I went in there to meditate, do spell work, perform various rituals, pray, and anything else you can think of that would require peace and solitude. The walls and the furniture were adorned with tools and symbols of my spirituality and were ever-growing as I did. We knew the day would come when it had to be taken down so that room could be made for our child, but I never realized how emotional and stressful that day would be.
As I finished cleaning off the bottom shelves of the book case and moving various ritual tools into the bedroom, I started to cry. I sat there, holding out wedding candle in one hand and a bag of crystals in the other and just silently cried to myself in mourning over losing this space. I was so torn. I felt like the rug was being ripped out from underneath me, but I also felt like I was being incredibly selfish.
I carried the items into the bedroom and as I left the room, I noticed the little chalkboard sign on the door. I’d made it a few weeks ago and it simply says, “Little Owl” with a very crude drawing of an owlet at the bottom. I smiled. I realized then that even though the physical place where my spiritual acts were usually performed was changing, I wasn’t losing anything. In fact, I was being given the opportunity to create something beautiful and calming and spiritual all in it’s own. And now, I have to be creative when it comes to ritual. I’ll have to be more focused and aware, and it’s really going to help me focus on the actual Rite itself and not so much on the physical tools “required” to perform it.
Unfortunately, the tone for the day had been set at that point and despite my best efforts, my husband and I still found ourselves snapping at each other throughout the day. Him because I was being stubborn and uncooperative and me because he was being insensitive and aggressive. We finally got things sorted out after we got home from work at 11:30 last night.... but we woke up with a fresh heart and mind and today has been nothing but smooth sailing so far. I have to remember that Mercury is in Retrograde right now and I’ve really got to think before I open my mouth. I can be very argumentative (even when not pregnant).
As I said before, today has been great. I didn’t sleep well last night, but I woke up with enough energy to do our Thursday routine. Paid the car payment, went grocery shopping, hit Starbucks, got gas, cleaned out the car, cleaned up the kitchen, and organized the diapers and wipes we have so far. We’ve got 2 packages of N size, 2 packages of 1 size, and about 6-8 packages of wipes so far. Almost takes up an entire shelf on the book case… and I know it’s not even a dent in the amount we’re going to need for the baby, haha. But it’s a start! And it’s a smart one.
Oliver was kicking up a storm at work last night. I’m so glad that I’m feeling him move on a regular basis now. I can’t wait to hear his little heartbeat again next week.
Next week is going to be SUPER busy. I’ve got a Memorial Day party on Monday, Court (for the theft of my phone) on Thursday and a doctors appointment on Friday. Busy busy busy. If the weather is nice, I think Tim and I may try to go to the beach the last weekend of this month… I am dying to feel my toes in the sand.
This weekend I’m going to hit up the “Once Upon a Child” store nearby to look at furniture for the nursery. It’s like a consignment shop for new/gently used baby stuff. If I can find a dresser (or even a crib) that I like for cheap we’re going to take the money out of savings to get it. I’m also looking for a cute woodland-themed area rug to place under the rocking chair. I’ve got all of these wicked cute ideas and I’ve just got to figure out how to execute them on the cheap. Pinterest!
Okay, I’ve done enough rambling for today. Have a great day!
Loading comments...