Acceptance. *EDIT* in Earth and Sky

Well, sure enough, I was sorely disappointed when I arrived at work yesterday. The check that I received contained the raise AS WELL AS the “retroactive” pay from April 1st. All in all Tim and I got raises of just over 30 cents each, just now putting me over $13 an hour and Tim somewhere around there, too.

At first I was really disappointed, naturally, because I’d raised my hopes so high. After looking at my pay stub, though, and really looking at it, I turned the disappointment and the let down into appreciation and gratitude.

In the past, I’ve had this nasty habit of being ungrateful and down right greedy, which is kind of ironic coming from someone who grew up poor.

But I got a raise. I am making more money than I was making before. Even though it’s not an extra 300-something a month, it’s still an extra 100-something a month. And it’s more than I was making before.

So, I’m thankful. It’s not what I got my hopes up for, but it’s something… and I’m really okay with that. We aren’t struggling and the only reason money feels tight right now is because we’re putting $400 (at least) into our savings account every month. We’re preparing to bring a life into the world… that’s stressful! But we’re well above water and I have nothing to rightfully complain about. So I wont. :]

In other news, I’m only 2 paychecks away from having enough saved for the entire duration of my maternity leave! By June 1st any extra money we save can go straight towards buying things for the house and for the baby! That’s SUCH a good feeling.

I’m really digging this energy I’ve had lately. I woke up early this morning just to make banana bread. I woke up before my alarm, got out of bed, and went straight to work. I’m sure the upstairs neighbors didn’t appreciate me using the mixer at 8:30 in the morning, but they can deal. I listen to their toddler have a violent tantrum EVERY SINGLE DAY. And you know what they do? Stick a pacifier in his mouth. I’m sorry, but that shit drives me crazy. ANYWAY.

The banana bread smells delicious. It’s got about another 20 minutes, then 10 minutes to cool. Tim and I are going to pack some up and then head a town over to pick up some more food for the cats. We’ve got to get this special urinary food from the vet ever since Padfoot got sick. It’s 70 bucks a bag but it lasts us about a month and a half… so it’s really not that much more expensive. The things I do for my animals.

I had a really upsetting realization last night. I was thinking about my purse being stolen, and all of the things that were inside of it when it was taken and my heart sunk. You know what was in there? Aside from the crystals, the makeup, the keys, my wallet, all of my personal belongings… the journal. The journal that I’d been writing letters to my baby in were in there. The video of my first ultrasound was on the phone that was stolen from me. And I am never going to get those things back. All of the dates with the milestones were recorded in that journal. It just… it breaks my heart. I can’t believe it’s just gone. :( It makes me very sad. I try to focus on the fact that at least I’m safe and the baby is safe and that is all that matters, and that’s true. But it doesn’t make this whole mess suck any less.
EDIT So, speaking of this whole mess, when Tim and I checked the mail I found a court summons. May 28th I’ll hopefully see the douche who has my phone and either get it back, get the money back for it, or find out who the duck stole my purse in the first place. Or the guy won’t show up. I guess we will have to wait and see.

I’m all over the place this morning. I think it’s because I haven’t had any coffee yet. I woke up to Oliver’s gentle kicks this morning and even though I was prepared to wake up early, I think he woke me up in the middle of a dream or something. I feel a little foggy.

I’m going to jump in the shower while this bread is finishing up. Happy Friday, everybody.

Last updated May 16, 2015