Boy O.
I’m really bad at coming here.
I’ve been taking a lot of pictures, lately. I’ve sorta stopped making cakes. I need a new artistic outlet. I copped out for both of the kids’ birthdays this year… bought Kasin’s cake, and Ross helped Milo make his. It’s just felt too overwhelming and too hard, lately. I don’t want to fight with it anymore and stress about making it perfect. So I haven’t been. Meh.
My laptop at home is really just a little shitty Netbook, so I don’t use it hardly ever.. I’ve been just using this one at work. I was thinking about asking if I could take it home for a weekend, which I don’t think would be a problem. I just haven’t remembered. lol
Anyhow. NEW developments!
I’ve applied for several positions in school districts in Idaho. IDAHO!? Yeah, Idaho. Why? Because it was easy to apply there. They use the same Applitrack system that OUR district uses, so I’m familiar with it, and it takes a while but it’s easy to deal with. Further more, in order to get your certificate in Idaho, you just get finger printed and pay $115, and they’ll transfer your out of state certificate to Idaho. Amazing! EASY! Wondrous!
So, I applied in two different districts, for about 14 jobs. I told my parents and Kasin’s grandma, and of course Ross and the kids. Ross is all revved up to go and do it right now, he’s been cleaning out storage and thinning out our belongings. Anyways, now my mom keeps saying “when you get down here” anytime she gets me on the phone. I’m like, uhhh .. IF? But no one seems to be registering that part. lol…
so now the new plan is to head down there in the fall, one way or another. We get PFDs (Alaskan Dividends) in October, so we’ll have a few thousand dollars to kick around, and the plan is to use it to move. I don’t know where we’ll move to or what we’ll do once we get there, but we’re getting out of here. It’s a lot to take in and try to prepare for, but it’s something we’ve wanted for a long time and we’ve been trying to make it work out but it hasn’t been happening for us. So we’re just gunna charge on ahead and make it work, sounds like.
It’s not a definite, and it’s really scary, but it’s the best plan we’ve got right now. We have been fighting the economy up here for SO long, and we simply cannot get ahead. We’re a month behind on our rent right now, almost 2… and we are living paychecktopaycheck even though we have two full time job incomes for our household.. between daycare and groceries and rent, we’re strapped. We have nothing left.
It’s funny how I thought that finishing college would get me out of this place that I’m in, living in damn near poverty and trying to keep my kids happy and healthy. I applied for scholarships for the kids for soccer this summer, so they both start here soon. I’m psyched, but I’m worried for Milo. He seems excited, but when we’ve gone to the field to visit, he’s really worried about it and anxious because the fields are SO big and there’s SO much stuff going on and SOOOOOOOOO many people. But I think once he gets into the swing of it and meets the other kids and runs around a bit on the field playing, he’ll be alright.
I hope.
I know Kasin will love it, he always enjoys it once he’s there. His hair is so long now, it’s completely in his face. It’s ALLLLLMOST long enough for a ponytail, but right now the front portions fall down into his face whenever I put it up for him. He likes the ponytail to be low at the back of his head, so the pieces of hair in front around his face don’t stay back… soon, though! It’s almost there. :)
Milo is doing well, we’ve been considering upping his meds in the afternoons from 2.5 mg to 5mg, because he doesn’t seem to make it to dinner time and his morning dose seems to wear off too early, around 1pm, and his afternoon dose is at 2pm, so he needs a little more to get us all the way through the end of the day. His Dr is on maternity leave though, so we haven’t been able to make the change just yet. We did do a trial run over the weekend, and it was great. He’s been very sweet and loving lately, and less reactive in general. He’s more open to being comforted when he gets hurt, letting us hug him and soothe him. That was always the worst for me, when he would fall and skin his knee or something and scream at me for coming near him. It just kills your mommy instincts.
I had a really ridiculous situation last month where I almost passed out several times from extreme blood loss. I had this horrifyingly heavy period, TMI, I know… but it was horrid, it was exactly on time, but it lasted like 8 or 9 days and it was SO heavy and clotty, when I called my Dr’s office they said it sounded like a miscarriage. They did a pregnancy test and it was negative, so not a miscarriage, but now they don’t want me taking any birth control. I was screened for fibroids and cysts and had none. My Dr was a little miffed, because there was no reason for my lining to be so thick and heavy like that, but it sounds like it was “just a fluke” and I’m pretty much expecting to turn up pregnant any month now, because that seems to happen whenever Im not on birth control.
People have been telling me to chart my periods, figure out when I’m ovulating, etc etc, but my body is WONKY. I don’t think my timing is “average” and I can’t pinpoint when I’m ovulating.. all of the signs are missing at the times that they’re supposed to be there. I have a “Baby Forecast” app on my phone that tells me when I should ovulate and when my period should start , but the times for ovulating don’t seem right, because there’s no other symptoms that align with that timing. I know this sounds like nonsense to some of you, but I’m trying to NOT get pregnant for a few months, yet, and I would like to have some sort of idea as to when I should be avoiding it the most avidly… but its not working for me.
Whatever will be, will be, I suppose.
SIGH! Life keeps on.
<3
Loading comments...