sleep schedule in Safety Net

Sleep continues to elude me. I’ve always been an insomniac, but lately it has been really bad. My mind is just all over the place.

We’ve been back from California for a week now. I’m already going crazy. I’ve read four books since we’ve been home. I guess since I’m not working I have nothing else to do right now. My grandpa (as my mother keeps reminding me, the only one I have left) is supposed to be coming home from the nursing home tomorrow. He’s been there for a little over a month for rehab after a minor stroke and a nasty case of cellulitis this winter. Today his legs had swollen up again, so we’ll see if he comes home or not. We’ve been back a week and I’ve yet to go see him. I know it’s making my grandma and my mom upset (especially since my mom keeps reminding me he’s the only grandpa I have left), but apparently they don’t understand that after having just lost one (who happened to be one of my favorite people ever) I am not in any big hurry to venture into a nursing home full of dying, old people. Harsh, I know.

So I’ve been hanging around, avoiding everyone, driving my mother and grandmother crazy, reading 200-300 pages a day, and being alone with my thoughts. That last part is never good for me. I’m lying here tonight, waiting for sleep again, the events of the past couple of years playing in my head, and I had a thought. With all of the shit I’ve dealt with in my life, I could write a book. I laughed, but seriously, in the right hands, the drama of my life could fill volumes. Too bad those hands will never be mine.

Although, if I had a pen name. ;-)

Last updated October 05, 2015