Moms 'n Stuff.... in A New Beginning

My niece Stef (sister Carol’s daughter) is always posting stuff about MOTHERS on Facebook. But it’s always stuff about herself, and what a diehard, dedicated, true-to-the-last mother SHE is; it’s never ever about what a good mother she has, or how much she loves her mother. And if there ever was a diehard, dedicated mom, it’s Carol!

When I post something about mothers, it is about MY mother. I can’t say that my Mom was anyways near as diehard and dedicated as some. But she loved me and was proud of me. She wasn’t perfect, but for ME, she was a perfect mom. She died of cancer when I was a senior in college, four months before I married Joe.

My Mom was not one of those all-suffering women. I’m glad she wasn’t. I don’t much like seeing that type....the women who, like my Aunt Burnice, never even sit down to eat until everyone else is nearly done, or does without a slice of pie so someone in the family can have two slices. My Mom never gave anyone the impression that she was their servant, or that she’d literally do ANYTHING for them....though she certainly did plenty for us! She did not do without so that we could have more than our share, but we did get to have a share!

My older siblings always said that Mom was quite specific about what she wanted them to get her for Mothers’ Day, or her birthday, or Christmas. I don’t recall her telling me what she wanted, but one year she DID state that she didn’t want to keep receiving gifts that were “things to work with”! Well.....why should she? I sometimes like that kinda thing, but not always. I only want to be given it, if I have SAID I really need and want it, anyway! Mom had been a wife and mother for many years by the time she said that, and I think it was just fine for her to state that she only wanted FUN THINGS like clothing, jewelry, perfume, books, etc.!

Mom and Dad were not rich. But I got a lot of presents for Christmas....what I thought of as a lot, anyway. We did NOT get super-expensive things though. Like for example, I had a Barbie doll and a Ken doll and maybe six outfits for each. I did NOT have a Barbie car, a Barbie house, a Barbie horse farm, a Midge doll, a Skipper doll, and all those others, whatever their names were. I had a lot of toy cars. They were hand-me-downs from my brother and probably sister Sandy before him. (And she probably got them used.) But every summer, my brother bought some model paints and painted them new colors for us! So that was like getting new cars! I did NOT have a toy racetrack. But I DID have a toy gas station, even though, when I asked for one, Mom said “Girls don’t play with tor gas stations!” (My brother, when he was little, was the one who got a toy kitchen set.)

Anyhow, what I’m saying is, I had a great childhood. At least I think so. There were no big adventures in it, but I had freedom to play, to lie around imagining stories, to just BE. And no one, certainly not Mom, tried to “fix” anything about me.

I was not the best Mom there ever was....AM not, I should say, since I’m still a mom! ;o) But I think I’ve been a very good one. My kids act like they think I’ve been a good mom anyhow! They like to be with me and talk with me. I think that’s about the best indicator there is. I am not the center of their lives now that they are grown, and they are not the center of mine. I am proud of them and I love them and I LIKE the adults they have become. I have never acted or talked like it mattered to me, getting presents for Mothers’ Day or my birthday. It really doesn’t. What would I ask for? All I’d want would be more of the same stuff I have, and I don’t need more of it! But Carrie always sends a nice card, sometimes with a gift certificate tucked in, and that’s nice! :o) Joey almost never gives me anything for the smaller occasions, but he goes all-out at Christmastime for everyone.

When the kids were kids, of course, Joe would take them shopping so they could pick out small Mothers’ Day presents for me. He’d want to know what HE could get me, and I’d say, “Don’t get me anything! I am not your mother!” I don’t say that anymore though! From him I want to go out to dinner! This year he also got me some flowers and cooked us breakfast! :o) !!

Anyhoozle, that is my take on Mothers and Mothers’ Day! I feel thankful to have had the Mom I had, and I am very very much like her. Everyone loved Mom because she was so funny and so much fun, and I have grown into that role. I’m sure she is proud, seeing this, because I used to be so shy.

I hope you all have a lovely week, dear friends!

hugs and blessings,
Nicky