It’s here. It’s 80 degrees out with a high of 85 today. Tim and I woke up and got dressed and drove to the park and just enjoyed the morning outside. Ducks and geese and squirrels and fish and young children with their parents and EVERYONE smiling. It was such a gorgeous day to be outside but holy moly is it HOT out.
Tim and I agreed that the garden goes into full swing this weekend. He’s going to go out and pull all of the weeds and till the soil, and tomorrow when I’m off I’m going to plant the herbs and flours we want in the garden. I’m going to take my mom to a flower shop on Sunday and buy a hanging plant for inside. We definitely need more nature inside of our home. I just feel so GOOD today.
Just got off the phone with my mom. She sounds good. She voiced to me that she wants me to come with her to her next doctors appointment to talk to Heidi (her PCP) about getting off of narcotics entirely. The last time mom and I saw each other I lost my cool and forcefully explained that there was NO WAY my child was to be in her care while she was under the influence of anything. Speaking to her today, I know that message got through to her. She wants to try being put on Suboxone (a beta blocker) to deal with the withdrawal symptoms and to try alternative methods of pain management.
I think a lot of the “pain” my mother experiences is psychological. She’s been diagnosed with PTSD and bipolar, and both of them have gone untreated for her entire life. My father doesn’t believe in mental illness so he doesn’t support seeing a therapist or being on medications to help. My mother was prescribed anti-depressants years ago that she’s stopped taking and I’m SURE that the doses need to be adjusted. I want to talk to one of the doctors at the hospital about seeing her on an out-patient basis. I really think that a steady regiment of therapy and medication would help my mother significantly.
I also invited her to come help me clean out the closets this weekend. I have a hard time spending time with her because I still hold on to a lot of that anger and hurt (something I’m working with outpatient services about) but I know I can’t avoid her forever, especially since she and my father are going to be watching Oliver when I go back to work. So I think spending the weekend with her is going to really benefit the both of us and it’ll give us the chance to talk and connect. Dare I say… I’m even kind of looking forward to it.
Ungh. I don’t want to work today. It’s so BEAUTIFUL outside. I really wish that the census was low enough for me to take a 3-day weekend but we’ve actually been really busy this week. Hopefully the time will fly and I can get home, get naked, rub lotion on my belly and ready “The Wind in the Willows” to Oliver. I can’t believe I’m 20 weeks today… 140 days left… where has the time gone? On the 22nd, I’ll only have 4 months to go. That’s CRAZY to me!
Have a beautiful day, everyone! <3
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