Vacation Mode/Perspective in Vacations 2015

At work, we talk about how you really need two weeks of vacation to completely decompress and relax. It’s so true. Here we are on Day Five of our vacation and I feel like we are just finally really letting go. I finally had a good night’s sleep. I finally feel like my job is a million miles away. I finally really just don’t care. Or to be frank, I don’t give a fuck.

My kitchen issues have taken over my life the last few months, but today I don’t care. No work has been done yet. The hardwood flooring arrived today. I emailed my project manager so he can pick it up. I haven’t heard from him in reply. It’s ok. Who cares.

I go to sleep when I want to. Which is fairly early in the evening. I know that my late night partying days are over, but I hoped that my late night solitude at home with music and candle light had some life left in it. It probably does, but that hasn’t been obvious this week. Michael goes to bed even earlier than I do, so I’ve had the house to myself for an hour or two each night and that’s had to be enough. I light candles, play music, lay on the couch, watch the ocean waves by moon light. I treasure the moments.

I get up when I’m ready. Which, sadly, is around 6:00 a.m. Well, it is what it is. I get up to the sound of the ocean waves. I stumble into the bathroom and wash my face, brush my teeth. I come out to the main rooms, which I have to myself, because Michael will sleep for several more hours. I make a pot of coffee. I pour my flavored creamer into a cup and put it into the microwave to heat it up. I try to be quiet, because Michael’s room is near to the kitchen and I don’t want to disturb him. He says he’s not sleeping that well, so I shouldn’t worry about disturbing him. He says if he’s already awake, he hears me. If he’s sleeping, he doesn’t hear me. Okay.

I go out onto the deck and watch the early morning low tide and I feel the fresh air but it’s chilly so I only stay out for a few minutes. I come back inside in my flannel jammies and fuzzy socks, sip on my coffee and get caught up with the world on my laptop.

Yesterday, we took a drive down Highway 101 (Pacific Coast Highway) to Heceta Head Lighthouse. We stopped at some lookouts along the way and took pictures. It was a gorgeous day.

When we came back home, we had leftover cioppino for lunch. When we were done, Micheal informed me that we had to toss the leftovers because it wouldn’t keep and it wouldn’t reheat (a second time) very well. He was right. But we got a lot of mileage out of that recipe.

I took my Paint by Number out to the deck. I KNOW that “Paint by Number” is not art. But I feel artsy when I’m working on it. So hey. I take what I can get. And doing it out on a deck with the ocean waves, well, honestly, I can’t think of anything I’d rather be doing.

We went out to eat last night to LunaSea which is this little hole in the wall and nobody would ever really dream of going to dinner there but it was the best food we’ve had all week. We are going back tomorrow for one of our last restaurant meals before we go home.

When we got home, we sat out on the deck for awhile and then took a quick walk on the beach. The sunset has been different every night. Last night’s was no exception.

Then Michael went to bed and I broke my “No TV” rule for the week and watched last week’s episode of “Nashville” on my iPad. Then I fell asleep on the couch with candles lit and 70’s rock playing over the speaker.

Today we drove back into Newport and did a little more shopping. Then we went out to lunch at a place that is new here and has gotten mixed reviews on line. The reviews were enough to turn us away from it, really. But it’s a small town and we’ve been to the other restaurants that we have any interest in, so we thought it would be fun to be a little bit adventurous and go check out this place and compare it to the reviews we read. We came away with.... mixed reviews. I’m still deciding whether to post a review on line.

Tonight though, we have dinner reservations at a restaurant we really love, Ona. We dined there twice the last time we were in town, and this is Michael’s birthday dinner, seeing as how I’ll be in Iceland on his birthday. We are both really looking forward to it.

I did some more Paint by Number out on the deck this afternoon but then the storm clouds and wind moved in, so I moved back inside.

I haven’t had very many notes on my entries this week. I don’t know where everyone is. Maybe you all have lives outside of PB and my life! Really? LOL. Maybe it’s just a slow time here on PB. Maybe my entries are just not inviting replies. Whatever. I hope you are all still there. I’m here, obviously.

In this entry title I mentioned “Perspective”. A friend of mine whom I met on OD and have been FB friends with for a long time, lost her husband today. I don’t know a lot of the details but he was a quadriplegic who hasn’t been in good health for a long time. Still.... his passing came as a huge shock to me and I am just so sad about it. I am sad for him and sad for my friend. I can’t imagine the shock she is in, and I know this has devastating consequences for her future. It really does put things in perspective. Waah waah, I don’t have a working sink in my kitchen. Waah waaah, when will my kitchen remodel be done????

Cindy. My heart is with you tonight. Micheal and I just had a long talk, wherein I said that I feel like I’ve been so lucky. I have my crosses to bear, I’ve had my share of heartache. I am alone and nobody loves me. Not in that “hug you in the middle of the night” kind of way. But I have a lot of happiness and I’ve had a lot of good things happen to me. I don’t believe in God. I don’t believe in some invisible magical being “up there in the sky” watching over us. I don’t believe in a God that lets bad things happen to good people, or a God who heals some, and not others, or who lets some people die in car accients and spares others (“God is so good!”), or who cares which football team wins or.... the list goes on. I do believe in the power of prayer though. I believe that people who pray to their God, find strength and comfort in that. I don’t begrudge them that. What I begrudge them is trying to force their beliefs on me. But that’s a different topic. Getting back to my original thought..... I do believe someone is out there watching out for me. Some kind of spirit. Maybe it’s my mom. Maybe it’s my mom and her mom. I don’t know. I only know I’ve been really fortunate and it feels like it must be from someone watching over me.

So I digressed a little. I guess where my thoughts are going, is that I don’t know why Cindy gave her life to a man whom she knew would always need her help, but with whom she shared a beautiful and loving relationship and now he’s suddenly gone and her world is turned upside down and devastated.

Love to you, Cindy. RIP, Michael.

Last updated May 08, 2015