I wrote this at the beginning of last week and then only just got round to sorting out the photos for it!
On Thursday I had the day off as holiday and went to Ross in the morning. He got me to do my first ever box jumps! I was really scared but I’m so glad that I did them. I did 3 kind of tester ones and then he wanted me to do 30 seconds of them and said I should aim for 5 in 30 seconds and I did 7, so I was quite pleased with that! They still really freak me out though! I’m scared of bashing my shins! The rest of the day went so fast and I didn’t really get much done! When Robyn and Drew got home they were rowing about the mortgage so I ended up going round to Paul’s to escape! He made me and his sister fajitas and let me paint my nails whilst we watched into the woods.
Africa sat in my egg box whilst I was making my breakfast!
On Friday I went to Ross at 8am. Beth had originally told me that our cousins wedding was staring at 3pm but when we checked, it was actually 1pm. It was about a 45 minute drive away so I was little bit worried about getting ready in time because Beth was driving us and she wanted me to get to mum’s for 11am to leave at half past. It was a bit annoying because I have a bit of a reputation for being late so I tried as hard as I could to get ready on time, I would have quite like to have done my hair wavy but I straightened it because that doesn’t take as long! I ended up being about 10 minutes late and mum and Beth were nowhere near ready when I got there! We didn’t end up leaving until about 10 to 12! It was quite nice to hang out with them whilst they were getting ready though and mum got me to write in the card and wrap in up with a ribbon. Drew and Dad had already left because they were driving my Granny and Grandad (Dad’s parents) and our partners weren’t invited, Alex had mentioned to Beth when he ran into her at the gym that they could come to the evening do if they wanted but because it was quite a drive and on a Friday we decided it would be best for just us to go! The drive was a little bit stressful as it was out in the sticks a bit so there were lots of skinny windy roads and a few swear words from Beth but she got us there safely!
I think we got there at about quarter to and Drew and Dad had just arrived too. We said hi to a few people and walked across to where the ceremony was going to take place. The venue was really beautiful and there were peacocks everywhere! They were really lucky with the weather because the ceremony was outside and the weather wasn’t supposed to be great on Friday but it actually turned out to be quite nice! Alex, my cousin seemed quite nervous and there was quite a bit of waiting around (I imagine that must be the most nerve-wracking part!) the ceremony started just after half past one in the end I think! Natasha looked absolutely beautiful, I don’t really know her that well, we’re not super close to that side of our family, but from meeting her before I had thought she would have chosen a more fitted dress but what she actually wore was stunning. The ceremony was really sweet, Alex did his vows first and it seemed like he kind of rushed through them a bit, he almost seemed on the verge of giggles and the registrar didn’t seem impressed but I think it was probably nerves. When Natasha said her vows she started crying and couldn’t seem to pull herself together for a bit and Alex pulled her in to a massive hug which was really lovely!
After the ceremony we had some Pimms and canapes and stood around for a bit, in hindsight maybe doing a personal training session in the morning before spending a whole day standing up in heels wasn’t the best idea! We chatted to some people, took some photos and played some of the lawn games. After a couple of hours they did the speeches, they were on a stage with a load of deckchairs set out in front! The speeches were really lovely, Alex’s was surprisingly sweet and self-deprecating and VERY funny! His best men’s speech was really good too, they read out a poem that Alex wrote when he was 12 called ‘cold and alone’ and people were crying with laughter! It started to drizzle during the speeches and when we moved inside it started to absolutely pour down! The meal was delicious and we were sat with Alex’s cousins and Aunts and Uncles from his mum’s side who were all really nice!
In the evening they had a band who were awesome, and we all had a little bit of a dance. I feel a bit silly dancing when I’m not drunk and we didn’t really know that many people and I was feeling pretty achy by the evening! But I could see that if you had been one of their group of friends it would have been an amazing night!
We left fairly early (about 10pm I think) as me and Beth both had to work the next day. By the time I got home I was SO tired and achy I jumped straight in to bed but I struggled to fall asleep because I was so sore! It was such a struggle to get up for work the next morning! Luckily I was only on a half day!
I’m not sure how I feel about weddings now… on one hand I do still LOVE a wedding, I love the idea of 2 people standing up in front of the people that are important to them and declaring their love! I love the speeches and watching the first dance, I love the opportunity to get dressed up and checking out everyone else in their wedding attire too. But on the other hand I feel like it’s kind of sad because with the weddings I’ve been to, and mine I suppose, it seems like the bride and groom don’t really get to spend that much time together and it does seem kind of stressful for them. Also, I don’t think I’ll be able to afford to get married again and that makes me kind of sad.
Further silly reflections on the day… I felt ok about how I looked when I left mine. I loved my dress and I was really happy about fitting in to it because when I first bought it I couldn’t zip it up. I would have rather done something better with my hair but I think I looked ok considering that I was rushing to get ready! But as the day went on I felt less and less confident about how I looked. I think my make-up probably didn’t look that great and I think I should have maybe gone more natural, because I hardly ever seem to wear make-up lately, I feel like I struggle to pull it off when I do! Also I feel like my face still looks pretty chunky, which is to be expected really because I’m still really far away from my ideal weight! The most silly thing is when I used to go to stuff like that I felt pretty confident that there’d be someone there that thought I looked nice… like when I was Andrew’s sister’s bridesmaid a few of Almaroe’s friends were like ‘who’s that girl’ and it felt nice… I know it’s really ridiculous and shallow but I miss feeling like that. It’s also worse when I’m at things with Beth, because everyone goes on about how much alike we look, so I feel like if anyone did think I looked nice they’d be like ‘Oh but look, there’s a younger, skinnier, prettier version with shinier hair and a better personality!’ I am kind of being silly… I know it’s stupid but I’m just venting. It also highlights how flipping awful I am at socializing, I was sat next to Alex’s cousin Rebecca who seemed lovely but I didn’t really talk to her because I couldn’t think of anything to say, I’m so awkward and I hate it. I think if I had been drinking I could have probably been more chatty but then I get self-conscious about seeming drunk!
The rest of the weekend was nice, on Saturday evening Paul and I went for a really lovely dinner at Reef and Beef and then went to watch the new Avengers film in 3D which I loved! We had a really lazy Sunday and then went to his parents for dinner and his sister cut my hair for me (I just had a trim and my fringe cut back in!)
This week is my last week of PT and I can’t seem to shake myself out of tired and lazy mode! I need to though, I’m going to buy Ross a Nandos voucher and a thank you card today and then at the weekend I need to take my 12 week pictures! I really wish I had a spare grand so that I could afford him for another 12 weeks!
xxx
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