Are we there yet? in 2015

I want it to be honeymoon time already. I am desperate for a bit of proper sunshine, and being warm, and drinking cocktails from coconuts and things. Mmmm.

I’m so tired today. Busy weekend, busy week before it. Work is hectic but probably not as bad as it used to be in Cardiff in all fairness, I am just used to having more time now. And it can’t be that busy, since I am writing this. I just want my holiday! Obviously there’s the small matter of the wedding before that though. I’ve been having a bit of a wedding downer the last week or so. I feel short and fat and frumpy and feel like I’m going to be the ugly duckling at my own wedding. Which is a generally unpleasant feeling, as you can imagine. I think this has mostly stemmed from the fact that it’s my hen do this weekend and I really wanted a nice dress to wear, but nothing fits me. They’re either too tight on my stomach, or too long in the body (see earlier comment re: short and fat), or both. Which is a beautiful combo, obvs. Add in to this my bridesmaids are all effortlessly glamorous, slim, tall, blonde and elegant and I am feeling about ready to elope to Siberia and get married in a parka. I know I am being incredibly vain, but it’s just all my general anxieties of inadequacy combining to make me feel like shit. I know that, logically, but it’s not always easy to keep the logic at the forefront of our minds now is it?

It will be fine though. I know that. I mean ultimately its just an excuse to go to Cardiff for the weekend, with some of my most wonderful people, and be in the city that still feels like home and as an added bonus I get to be ridiculously self-indulgent and go do whatever I want to do, even though that will inevitably be to spend most of it in Wetherspoons! YES! That’s pretty exciting. So really it doesn’t matter if I’m not wearing the prettiest dress or being the skinniest or any of that crap. Because I can drink wine with my lovelies. Fingers crossed for a bit of sunshine too.

Hayley has been a total star actually, she’s organised the whole trip and I haven’t had to do anything. Which is greatly appreciated because I already have a billion and two things to think about and quite frankly I’m not the most organised of people when it comes to social occasions! I’m sure I used to be, but apparently I have lost that skill. It’s probably due to my total lack of doing it since I left Cardiff. I am trying to sort something out with the girls who live locally as well but I am lacking inspiration and motivation. Bad times. I need a local Hayley.

In other news, work is ok. We have a new big boss coming in May which I am hoping will bring many good changes. Although his first job in office seems to have been stopping our free tea/coffee/milk haha. So that’s popular, obviously. I think he will be a lot more modern in his approaches to research and strategy of the unit here though, a big shake up in sleepy North Wales uni! I am hopeful for good things. Fingers crossed for new opportunities and that he doesn’t end up being a total slave driver! So fair when I’ve met him he reminds me a lot of my lovely old boss from Cardiff but I am trying not to be too optimistic in case I am disappointed!

Anyway I really should do some work, and also book a dress fitting for my tiny fat beach ball body.