sex talk in Depression

Okay so I haven’t seen my boyfriend in a few weeks because he went home to his parents over easter and that’s too far away for me to get to. I’m seeing him on friday and we’re just hanging in his house because neither of us have any money. So the worries and fears revolving sex are back. As you may or may not know, I’ve only had sex once, and I was drunk. So sober sex scares because

1) I dont feel confident
2) I’m fully aware of what’s going on and just how unconfident I feel
3) there’s a lot of shit I haven’t done.

Now not to say he has done stuff, because he hasn’t like at all, he just seems a lot more confident about it all. I’m nervous as hell. My nerves are ridiculous like. But at the same time, I want to do it. I want to be that close with him and have that fun and to be honest, I kind of just want to have sex again (like a lot of humans).I’ve been watching a lot of ‘Girls’ and if you’ve watched that show you’d know there’s a lot of sex in it. It makes it seem grand and like no ones ever nervous or insecure about sex. I thought these were meant to be normal girls like come on can at least one of them be insecure about it? I love the show but that part made me question it. Although I am trying to realise just how normal sex is because it really is in this show. And it’s partially helping but partially just making me wonder why I’m so nervous in the first place. I kind of just want to have sex tbh. You know what they say; ‘face the fear and do it anyway’. Maybe I just should. But I freeze and get nervous. Ugh, how might one relax in this situation? Could do with some tips on that