Sparky in Who I Am

I have to be honest, I don't actually call my husband Sparky IRL. On a handful of occasions during our 9+ year relationship, maybe I have. Actually, I called an ex-boyfriend Sparky. Again, not all the time. But that's when I got attached to the nickname. I got it from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. She calls him Sparky a few times and I thought it was cute. And now I want to watch the movie. I might just pop it in as I write this. Its one of those movies I've seen a million times so I don't really have to pay attention to it to enjoy it.

Done!

This is an entry all about Sparky.

I met him the summer after I graduated high school, at the age of 18. He had just turned 20. I think I can say he fell in love with me right away. It took me longer to figure it out. After a month he told me he loved me. After 3 months of dating, he was my 'first.' He was my first of a lot of things. Our relationship was not perfect at all. We were young. We thought we knew everything. We got engaged after 9 months. I could tell my parents were less than thrilled. As a prospective son-in-law, I can see that he did not possess the qualities that one would prefer. He was not pursuing a college education and he did not have a steady job. He lived at home with his mom, step-dad and younger brother, and went from temp job to temp job.

But I loved him. I saw his potential. I knew he could succeed in anything he did if he put his mind to it. I could be myself around him in a way I couldn't be with anyone else I'd ever met, including my family. He was there for me. We talked for hours on the phone and I am not a phone person. He made me laugh and smile. He made me feel special and important.

And he broke my heart.

Just shy of 2 years being together he started growing distant. He thought we should take some time apart. Not really a break up but a cool down. He was not ready to get married. He went on a week vacation with his dad. Or, that's what he told me. He told me he wouldn't be able to talk to me either the entire time he was gone. When he got back he broke up with me.

After a few weeks, I found out through a mutual friend that he was dating a girl he worked with. And he went on the trip with her. I actually knew he was talking to a girl he worked with while we were still together. Silly him must have forgotten we had a joint cell phone so when he went over our allotted minutes and texts, I could see that he was talking with someone that I didn't know.

I was more than crushed. I was devastated. I was down in a dark hole and couldn't see the light.

Eventually I picked myself up, in a way. I got back out there and dated a couple of guys. Sparky always kept in touch with me. Always always always. I never called him. He called me. In the back of my mind I knew he still loved me. After a while he was single and I was in a relationship. He decided to join the Army National Guard. Joining the Army was something I always told him he should do. That it would be good for him and he would thrive. And he did it. To impress me. To show me he could be good enough for me.

Once I was single again we started spending more time together. After we were broken up for about a year, he went to Basic Training for the Army. I dropped him off where he needed to be and that's when he told me he loved me. He wanted to be with me again. I was not ready. I knew that if we were going to get back together, it meant that we were going to end up together forever. My trust was something that he needed to earn again. We wrote to each other during the three months he was away. I tried to work out my feelings for him.

He came back and I felt a little weird. We hung out a few times and I made him keep his distance. No kissing, sleep on the couch... things like that. After about 3 weeks we went out with friends. It was December and it was snowing. We were walking back to my apartment and I decided to kiss him.

The next day we were back together and the rest is history :)

October of this year is our 5 year wedding anniversary and I can honestly say I fall more in love with him every day. He is not an easy man to love, let me tell you. Obviously, he has broken my heart in the past. And some people might question how I could trust him again. The reason it has worked is that we are both different people now. Our previous relationship seems like ancient history. Since we got back together it is a new relationship. He has proven himself to me and that's really all anyone needs to know.

Sparky is stubborn, hot-tempered, loud. Sometimes he's mean, swears too much, and sometimes he makes me want to punch him in the face!

BUT he has a kind heart. He would do anything to make me happy. He works hard to provide for me and our future family. He makes me smile. He is outgoing enough for the both of us. He is confident and stands up for himself and me or anyone else who needs it. He is smart. He is handsome.

And I know I'm lucky to have him as my husband.