Work Assessment and Hen Parties in Diary
- March 17, 2015, 9:32 a.m.
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- Public
Yesterday I had my two week assessment at work. It was like a mini test which I wasn’t expecting. My line manager asked me about the different processes and fired questions at me about what I would do in different situations. I answered most of them correctly and he said he’s more than happy with my work, I’ve picked it up really quickly and he’s confident that he can leave me to get on with things without having to check up on me.
So I was surprised when he told me that he’d said to our Senior Buyer that he thought he had made a mistake in hiring me. Ouch. He did say he’s always blunt and honest, but hearing that wasn’t very easy. He said I’m too quiet and he was worried that I’m not integrating myself into the group.
Our Senior Buyer stuck up for me and told him that he can’t expect me to be life and soul of the party right away; I’m trying to learn 5 million new things (her words!) and try to fit into a well established, confident and loud group at the same time. She said that anyone would be overwhelmed to start with.
And that’s exactly it. I did tell him in my interview that I’m always quiet to start with and it takes me a while to gain confidence with new people. I said I always spend some time listening to people and getting to know them that way, then I know what I can talk to them about, how to talk to them etc.
He admitted he made a mistake saying that and he’s looking forward to hearing me coming out of my shell. One task he gave me was joining in the tea and coffee making run, even though I don’t drink it myself. Apparently that’s a good way to get to know people…really?
I wish there was a box you could tick when you start a new job saying whether you’re shy or not, an introvert or extravert. It would surely help people to know what to expect from you!
In other news, I’ve been invited to a friend’s hen party at the end of May. I love a good hen party and jumped at the chance. A tour of the Harry Potter studios, followed by playing hen party games, picnic in the park and a night out in London town. It sounded great, I said sign me up. I looked at the guest list and loads of my friends from Loughborough are invited so there are bound to be a few people I know going.
So the organiser booked the studio tour tickets and said we each owe her £30. Fair enough. Only now it turns out that none of my Loughborough friends are going, all of the hen’s friends from London are going so I won’t know anyone but they all know each other.
The Harry Potter tickets are booked for 9am so I would have to get a hotel on my own the night before otherwise I wouldn’t get there on time. The others live in London so it’s easy for them to get to.
I now owe her £30 for the studio tour ticket. But if I want to go, it’s going to cost me an extra £80-£100 for the train and the hotel. If I wanted to stay for the rest of the stuff, the price will sky rocket again. I don’t think I want to go now, seeing as I don’t know anyone and it’s going to cost me over £100 just to go on the studio tour.
It’s on the bank holiday weekend, and I normally go up to Cumbria to visit my family. When I thought it was going to be a weekend with my friends, I didn’t mind too much. But now it’s a weekend with a load of strangers, and possibly just one overnight on my own and one morning with a bunch of strangers…I don’t want to give up three days with my family for that, and it’s too far to travel from London to Cumbria for two nights.
So my options are.
1) Cut my losses, give her the £30 for the ticket and not go.
2) Pay an extra £80-£100 for the train and hotel, go to the studio tour and come back, giving up a weekend with my family.
3) Pay an extra God knows how much for the whole weekend and feel awkward with a bunch of strangers in a stupidly expensive city.
What would you do?
mutedexposure ⋅ March 17, 2015
Can you stay with a friend there? Crash on a couch instead of a hotel?
Bomb Shell mutedexposure ⋅ March 17, 2015
That's the whole thing though, I don't know anybody, which is I'm reluctant to go as I'm not very good around strangers, especially as they're already an established group of friends. I thought more of my friends would be going, but none of them are :o(
Lucretia ⋅ March 17, 2015
If I were in that position I'd go, but I'm pushy and loud and enjoy the challenge of new people and being alone in strange cities.
For you though, if you're going to enjoy being around strangers, if you can find something fun to do the night before the Harry Potter thing, and if you're excited for the tour then go. If you're going to resent the financial outlay and not have fun; don't go. I think you should cut your losses. Tell her straight up that the additional train and hotel fees are too much when you aren't going to know anyone else in the group. If you're not going to enjoy it, paying more for the experience isn't going to make it any better.
Bomb Shell Lucretia ⋅ March 17, 2015
Yeah, I'm rubbish around strangers, especially as they're already an established group of friends. I'm always trying to push myself into spending time around new people, but this only really works for me if the whole group is new to each other. If they already know each other, I just think I'll feel like a proper outsider.
I think you're right, pay the £30 and go and visit my family instead.
Babe In Toyland ⋅ March 17, 2015
You know what I'm going to say. But for purely selfish reasons on my part.
That was a bit mean of your boss. He could have kept that nugget to himself and maybe told you further down the line when you were being all confident and bubbly!
Bomb Shell Babe In Toyland ⋅ March 17, 2015
I've told them that I'm not going to the hen party, it's too expensive, too much hassle and none of my friends are going. So I'll probably be £30 out of pocket but it's my own fault for rushing in without finding everything out first!
I'll never be confident and bubbly, but most people have told me that they thought I was rude and aloof when they first met me and didn't realise I was just shy. It isn't any easier hearing it further down the line as I just know that any more new people are going to think exactly the same thing :o(
Vee ⋅ March 22, 2015
That sounds like a weird thing of your manager to say, I'm pretty sure our managers would be happy if none of us ever talked and just did the job!
id be tempted to pay the £30 for the hen do and avoid the hassle, but I hate London.