A friend of mine at uni was a very butch member of the local LGB society. Around Christmas, this was our conversation after about four beers:
Her: I’m still trying to figure out how to tell my parents that I’m, you know, gay.
Me: They don’t know?
Her: Yeah, you’d think it’d be obvious just by looking gestures bitterly at self
Me: You have a plan?
Her: I have a wonderful plan!
Me: Wanna share?.
Her: I’m going to show up at breakfast looking really worried and say “Mum, Dad, please sit down. I have something important to tell you.”
Me: This is going to go well.
Her: “I need you to understand. I’m.... pregnant.
Me: What.
Her: And then while they’re all panicking, I’m going to say “APRIL FOOL! I’m not pregnant, I’M GAY!”
Me: Do I need to call the police if you don’t make it back in the Spring term?
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