yours again in 2015

My aunt called me while I was working late tonight, the only person up front. It was dark and raining, and I talked to her about wedding stuff while I finished up a billing spreadsheet. She doesn’t understand my inability to express excitement, but that’s okay. She told me her and my other aunt’s travel plans (their husbands have to work) and then told me that they were showing up a bit early to do nothing but help. Set up, take down, cleaning, errand-running, anything at all, give them a list.

So few people have offered things like that, instead offering criticism or pushy “advice” or wanting me to do something like book their travel arrangements. It’s so wonderful, so refreshing, and again, I didn’t really know how to react, lol. I can at least say the right words to convey gratitude, but oh man. How wonderful.

I drove through some thundersleet on the way home, of all things, at stupidly low speeds. I then consoled/pep talked Aaron, who feels like garbage right now re: work and is starting to snap a little bit. He made us dinner and then I tried to work out, circuit training, but my body just collapsed in on itself. I walked 2.3 miles today during lunch, in about 45 minutes, but I am just not taking in enough calories. I’ve been eating 100-calorie Greek yogurt for breakfast, and a tomato and mozz sandwich on wheat for lunch, then pasta for dinner all week. It’s delicious, and I’ve been drinking more water (yet still dehydrating overnight because cold as fuck) and less soda, and generally ~being healthy~. Yay reduced calories! Yay good calories! Yay breakfast! Yay not binging! Yay working out 3-4 times a week! Yay feeling and seeing a difference!

Yet around 2 today I was absolutely starving and ended up running across the parking lot to Bilo to get dark chocolate yogurt raisins, dark chocolate covered blueberries, and baby carrots. And a Dew. At least my snacks aren’t binge foods, but hot damn, I am not good at moderation.

Tomorrow, my big boss and the top HR lady are coming up from Savannah to talk about bringing me on full-time. No matter what they’ve said, no matter the talk I had with the secondary HR lady about my new married name and bringing Aaron onto my insurance, the last time I gave Aaron a job pep talk, I unceremoniously lost my job the day after. I’m gunshy and paranoid, and it’s unreasonable, but I’m jittery and scatterbrained and it’s only going to get worse until the wedding is over with. I feel like a hot mess. Aaron made me sit back and cuddle last night after I laughed hard at something he said and tears came out.

(In my defense, it was really funny. We were looking at travel journals on Amazon and I found one called Passport 2 Purity. I teased him about getting it, and he practically hissed THERE IS NOTHING PURE ABOUT THIS TRIP. NOT EVEN NATURE.)

Potential dinner with friends on Friday. Babysitting the kids on Saturday. New Red album.

Life is good.