I’ve been pissed off on so many levels for the past week I don’t even know where to start. I finally got my W2 in the mail and sat down to start our taxes. This is the first year I’m filing ‘married’, it’s also the first year that I am submitting nothing but a 1099 aka self-employment, no taxes being taken out. So I was a little worried about how much I would be getting back. Usually I get back a good 4-5,000 dollars because of Cassidy. I knew it would be less since I paid out no taxes all year long..
So I put in all my info, and I’m getting back over $3000. That’s good. Then I put in Bradley’s stuff, now we’re basically breaking even. Why? well for one, he obviously isn’t having enough taken out of his checks and two because we are not allowed to claim Zion this year. I think I bitched about this a little before, but now a little bit about the full extent of it and why I have been pissed the fuck off for the past week…
So we got full custody of Bradley’s son Zion last year. He came to live with us sometime in June. Before he came to live with us Bradley paid child support to Zion’s mom (not through an order, but just sent her money). So hen he came to live with us, Zion’s mom drafted up a custody agreement with an attorney and Bradley signed it the day they dropped him off.
Here lies big problem number one. The main problem. He signed this agreement without so much as asking me about it. He signed this contract without letting me see it first even though it directly affected me.
Ok, so about a month after Zion moved in we were registering him for school and the school needed a copy of the parenting agreement. Ok. So Bradley gives me the contract so I can start making copies… Then I see it. This bullshit agreement that Bradley agreed to without consulting me… Here are just a few of the bullshit points from it…
-Zion’s mom doesn’t have to pay child support for two years+
- Zion’s mom gets to claim Zion on the 2014 taxes
- We are not allowed to move more than three hours away from them
-If we move anywhere, we must get her approval first
-Zion is to live here for two years, but at any time she feels the need, she will take him back to live with her
-Zion’s mom gets him for all holidays/summer/etc
Ok, so those are some of the main points of it. Let’s start with the last point. So in the contract, his mom states she gets him for the whole summer, holiday, etc. Ok, that’s perfectly fine. That’s how it was when she had custody, we got him on holidays and had him the whole summer. Perfectly understandable. BUT, if that’s what you say you’re going to do, then do it!!! Whenever it comes down to holidays or three day weekends, theres all these excuses why they can’t come get him, or they get him last minute which puts us in a major bind. Then the summer. We took him for the whole summer every year. We paid for summer camp and all of that stuff and she didn’t have to worry about child care for the summer or paying for extra stuff. Well, now, I’m already hearing how they’re only having Zion for like a month of summer.. Ummm excuse me? No! That’s bullshit. That’s not fair to us or him. YOU put in the contract you get him for the whole summer now you need to honor that. Them taking him for the summer is good for him and for me. It’s not fair that we would have to pay for two kids in summer day camp all summer long when he’s supposed to be with them! Plus, if I don’t get a break from him soon I am going to go bat shit crazy (more on that later…)
Ok, next point, the fact she can take him at any time. That is bullshit. My problem with this is, even though we are financially and physically responsible for him, she is STILL pulling the strings. She still has full control over everything despite the fact she pays NOTHING and doesn’t care for him!!! It’s bullshit.
The moving away thing is bullshit. She and Bradley used to have 50/50 custody. They both lived here in the same town and Zion would spend a week at his mom’s house then a week at Bradley’s. Then she took it upon herself to move to Atlanta (three+ hours away) for more opportunity. Ok? I get that, we live in a shit hole town. But I’m not asking any body for permission for me to move when it benefits our family. She is a hypocrite..
Then in the contract it says she doesn’t have to pay child support for two years.. While they “get on their feet” (she’s married with two other kids). Also, I guess this is payback for the two years that Bradley was incarcerated. He didn’t pay her for two years, so now it’s her turn. Fine. I can go for that. The only difference is, he physically could not pay her.. She has the ability, but chooses not too. Whatever.
But, my biggest problem of all is her claiming Zion on her taxes. Like I said earlier, we got him in June. Technically we had for over half of 2014. And in the half of the year when we didn’t have him, we were still sending her money. She has provided nothing to us. It’s not fucking fair. At all. Now because we can’t claim him, we are getting jackshit back, while his mom gets to capitalize off a child she doesn’t do shit for!!!!
Get the fuck out of here.
It really pisses me off that I am caring for someone else’s chid, spending my hard earned money on someone else’s child, raising someone else’s obnoxious child and yet they are profiting from it.
And above all, the fact Bradley would consent to all this with out asking me, his wife, first pisses me off to no end. I literally can’t get over this.
And ya know, it would all be easier if Zion wasn’t a pain but he drives me mad. He’s not a terrible kid, he isn’t. He is respectful towards me and adults, he’s generally well-mannered. But he’s a liar, and I don’t mean typical lies kids tell to get outta trouble or whatever, he is a pathological liar where it is second nature. I’m sure I wrote about it before and I thought it was getting better, but it hasn’t. He’s grounded till the end of time right now. It’s a really long story and this entry is long enough as it is, but after we caught him in multiple lies and were giving him a lecture about lying, he lies again during the lecture about not lying! I mean he lies so shamelessly, so nonchalantly, it’s scary. I’m on constant edge with him, I can’t even relax because he is always fucking up something, always getting into something. Did I mention he’s ten? Ten. The same age as my daughter. He is not a toddler. I should not have to monitor him at all times to make sure he’s not fucking something up (yesterday I found pencil marks all over his walls, where he decided to measure his height.. even though we have told him COUNTLESS times we are RENTING, this is not OUR house to paint the walls, or fuck shit up! We just got a letter about an inspection from the rental co coming up and here are markings all over the damn wall!!!).
I wish his mom would take him back. I see now why she let him come live with us in the first place. He’s a pain in the ass. He gets into trouble at school, he half-asses everything he does, to the point he doesn’t even bother using soap/shampoo in the shower, bc he’s just so lazy and smells horrible as a result of it. Ya know, parents always make it a point to tell the kids its never their fault they are getting a divorce.. well if we do, Zion WOULD be the main reason. Seriously, he would. I am so close to taking Cassidy and running far, far away from all of this. I can’t deal with it anymore.
I can’t say of this to anyone, including Bradley. Well, he knows I’m pissed off about this bullshit custody agreement and the taxes thing, but if i were to bring up Zion and my disdain for him I already know how that would go. He has a major misperception of who Zion is. Bradley works a lot, so he doesn’t have to deal with Zion. My mom is the only one who knows, because she watched them a lot (I dont ask any more bc Zion was such a brat, I’m not going to put my mom through that). My mom knows exactly what I’m talking about, usually she always takes Bradley’s side in everything, but she knows he’s blind in this.
So needless to say, things have been very rocky. Bradley says he’ll do anything to make this right… I’m not going to ask him to choose between me and his son, I would never do that. But I’m not happy and his son is the biggest reason why. I just want to leave, but don’t know where to go or what to do.
Tomorrow I find out if I have cervical cancer…
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