i don't like it! in Life of a Coal Miner

so while i was walking around the office, i have started doing this for 10 min every hour seeing i work behind a computer screen all night/day. i got the opportunity to get a good look at myself in the glass of the doors and.... well… i didnt like what i saw. i didnt like it one bit. my shoulders and chest are all spread out and look way wider then they need to be. also everything jiggles when i walk. i hate that. i hate moving around and feeling everything else, thats not supost to move, move while i am. and i hate that i look like i am smuggeling some fluffy coat, or soemthing fluffy, in the front and sides of my body. i really hate it. as i looked myself over it became clear to me why i have been having some trouble in other parts of my life. i get it now, i really do. so whats next seeing i cant really stand to look at my reflection? hitting the gym at least 4 times a week no matter what. i cant handle looking and feeling like this any longer. i need to slim down and start looking somewhat normal. i cant believe i let things get this bad.