Gimme an A! in Friends With the Benedicts

Well, my Mom got her biopsy results back on Wednesday. They came back malignant, which we already knew pretty much, but also they were able to tell us that it is “Grade A”, which I understand is like “having cancer just a little bit” versus a lot, of course. LOL. My Mom was pissed off, and I have to say, I’m kinda miffed too. She’s got a little more to be mad about, coming from where she is, I mean, my stepdad was like, “Wow, now I can get a good night’s sleep! Aren’t you glad that’s over?” and it hasn’t even begun yet. It’s almost like everyone was invited to this big party and they were told there would be an elephant, but only a zebra showed up, so they left. I mean, the zebra still needs to be dealt with! LOL, maybe that’s not the best analogy, but you get what I mean, I hope. Ha! Anyway, so yea… I guess I am pissed because it’s like we’re fighting this monster, only now it’s a tiny monster, but we still have to nuke him. You have to fight just as hard for a little bit of cancer as you do for a lot. Granted, that should matter more to her, and I am sure it does, but I’m entitled to have feelings too. LOL. First off, I don’t like change. I used to tolerate it quite well. But now that my brain has gone AWOL, I don’t handle it all that well anymore. I don’t like the feeling of being lost in information and being left behind because I don’t understand something. I can see that happening with all the tests, etc. that are gonna be going on. Also, the doctor has told her that taking her hormones (she had a hysterectomy in her early 40’s, and needs them to regulate moods, stave off hot flashes, etc.) is not a good thing with having this, and could have actually contributed to it. So we dunno what’s gonna happen there, but man, even she says that we are the ones who will pay for that one! I told her she needs to talk to the doc and see if there is anything they can do for her in that regard. I mean, I don’t wanna sound like a selfish little child who’s complaining but this is my diary, and I have to get these feelings out! I KNOW that my Mom is going thru worse, before anyone says or thinks it, I am not so self involved as to think my problems or problems with her cancer are harder than what she is going thru, of course. I love my Mom very very much. She is my best friend next to Laura, and I don’t know what I would do without her. Well, Imma go. Love love! <3