Forgiveness (Unexpected Entry) in Muddling Through As Best I Can

I posted a photo earlier and said something to the effect that I had nothing to talk about tonight, then received a phone call from a friend.
Alison and I became co-workers in 1987 and then friends. We have stayed in contact down through the years and have an almost brother/sister relationship. She called tonight and told me about a problem between her and her sister.
They have been involved in a disagreement for the last year over the death of their father. I won’t go into the particulars, but as a result they no longer speak to one another and haven’t done so in some time.
Alison was venting to me, and asked me if I thought she was was right or wrong, and my answer wasn’t what she was expecting I suspect.
In February 2000, my eldest son Austin died as a result of an auto accident at the age of 18, At the time, I had not remarried and he was my only child and the undisputed light of my life. He was in the hospital for 19 days prior to passing away and everyone came to pay their respects except my older brother. Bill lives across the state, about 800 miles, so I kind of understood.The night Austin died, I came home from the hospital to find my brother and his wife at my apartment. I thought that they had come into town to see him and arrived too late, but such was not the case. They had been in town for several days, visiting friends instead of coming to see Austin.
They stayed with me through the week, and the night before Austin’s funeral told me they were not staying for the service but going home instead. I practically begged them to stay with me, feeling an intense need for my family to be there at this time,but they refused.
I did not speak to nor see my brother for almost ten years in my grief and anger. This caused a lot of division in my family. I missed years of watching my nephews grow up and start families of their own.
After much soul searching and prayer I realized that I was hurting myself far more than I was punishing him and decided to let go of my resentment.
Was it easy? No, not at all. I still struggle with negative thoughts from time to time. But in the end I am much happier having forgiven him and myself for our behavior and working to mend our relationship. Carrying that anger around for all that time accomplished nothing but to make me more bitter as time went by.
My counsel to Alison was to actively work at forgiving any harsh words, actions, or slights on the part of her sister. Even if she can’t feel it at the moment, say the right words and take the right actions. Pray (or meditate if your beliefs don’t mesh with prayer) for peace and forgiveness in the situation and repair the relationship.
I fully believe that we are responsible for our own feelings and outlook. No one can make you feel any way. Your feelings and behavior are your own, no one else controls that unless you let them. If you let outside forces cause you to react in a negative manner then you are giving away your peace and happiness. Forgiveness is as much for you as for the other person involved.
I know there are people who won’t agree with this and that’s okay. It’s what worked for me. I would rather forgive and move forward than stay angry and emotionally stagnant in any situation.
And Austin loved his Uncle Billy; it’s what he would have wanted.