Get out of this loop. Gravity is winning . Thank you bed for holding me. Cold toes. Sore back. Suffocated face from make up. Need to heat up cauliflower…
What did I think was going to happen? After the muffin with bbq sauce.. after the carrot cake.. after the matcha on coconut milk thing with mystery foam. I have a congenital enzyme deficiency. I cannot digest this stuff, let alone in large quantities. Add on the stress of spending the whole day with my high school bestfriend - who I very much wanted to break up with many times during adulthood. She’s loyal and passionate, but godamn, she is hard work - and sometimes I feel like she brings out the worst in me. Hence why my head is now spinning, my chest and stomach nauseous, a mild headache pounding.
I don’t know if I like who I am around her. Certainly the character I play around her is exhausting to play. I have to mask so hard - because her feelings are so intense - and I dare not have the wrong expression. Why can’t I just grow a spine and break this friendship? I know she’s spending more time because our mutual friend broke up with her, and now she’s running low on friends I guess.
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