Hi again, another thrilling update. Ive probably talked about it before but I am abjectly the king of all pessimism. I mean I think Eeyore is a bigger optimist than me. I'm a big believer in the Bundy curse:
(Modified) Basically saying you have good luck, good mood, or have a good day, brings up an equal amount of bad luck or bad mood or bad day. It's one of the reasons why I am always just "ok" or "adequate". Heck i've almost developed a fear of good luck. I mean this might sound juvenile but I couldn't tell you the last time i have felt "good" for more than a few hours. I mean i have moments but nope. I remember the last time i said i had a good day (The day I got my piercing was good) and I got smacked down the next day. I also dont look forward to anything because TBH i'm afraid it's going to get cancelled. I've honestly just kind of given up. I dont have things to look forward to long periods of time, and if i do they get cancelled or whatever. Also apathy has swarmed me. because of the depression and anxiety cycle and I cant get out of it.
Also, I am trying to sell a bunch of crap on FB marketplace, got 1 bite for a tv, hurt my shoulder lugging it to an easier place for transport, and the person thought i was giving it away, and still waiting on someone to see if they want to buy harry potter books (cause those are bad hoodoo cause of the evil wench) and no other bites, repeat cycle of anticipation and crushing pessimism
(Also some have suggested therapy, but a session is like 200 bucks per. Someone has claimed to do free therapy sessions for as long as whenever on threads, I emailed them and told some small details but once again read my first paragraph) I also quasi applied for a job i saw on facebook, no response. (I wasn't sure if it was a job or some freelance work) with board games.. so not a surprise there repeat cycle of getting excited then disappointment.
So this month has been another bust. In everything. I did have a couple good moments but they were few and far between. I got World Order finally after months of waiting, played it 3 times, probably 4 tonight. I also got a fun trick taking game called Zombie princess which is a spin on spades, the trick taking game I cut my teeth on (Very very poorly might i add) but I enjoyed the first game Rebel Princess (Which was hearts) but Its cool.
I also downloaded and started to play starfield. I'm loving every minute of it. It's skyrim.. in space! Total open ended goodness in a space situation. The main story is kind of flat, dont care, traveling space, visiting neat locations (New atlantis is cool, Neon is a mix of citadel meets cyberpunk.. Akila City.. exists) and all sorts of smaller cities and outposts and it's just a bunch of fun, gonna do some of the DLC soon. ZZZ dropped 3.0 and its also cool. I got the wind element lady which she's fun, but i'm gonna sadly have to pass on the gremlin stunner lady Norma, she's adorable but i need my pulls for the new void hunter (She's okay character wise but want the powerful lady) HSR has been fine, nothing major, still love elation. I dropped NTE.. It just...... wasn't fun. and thats the short version.
The final good thing was I went to a USLW game over the weekend. The Pittsburgh riveters (basically Level 2 women's soccer, which is on par with the Pittsburgh Mens team, the river hounds) it was a fun game, the Riveters won 5-0, and the hilarious part was the power went out for 10 minutes around the 70th minute. (They even scored in that time) but the stadium was small but impressive, holds about 5000, and a train goes by all the time, and the teams play into that. Also it was rainy but the mood was good the entire time, and it was also packed pretty well. It was fun though.
Anyways.. thats about it. Time for a few pictures:
This is a fun picture of me and macaroni
The council of chonk
all my World order goodies, that concept book is over 100 pages and it talks about a lot of interesting things.
Zombie princess!
The stadium. Like i said it's smol, but it was really nice for being so smol.
So thats about it. I'm just.. at a state of whatever and just a state of giving up.
Here is this, and back to that whole cycle of not expecting much.Ive posted it so many times and ive received no help since april and my bills are really there, and repeat the cycle of no car or anything. (I mean im grateful for what I got but.. i dont know i'm whining. and ill keep posting but my expectations are nil anymore) Yay pessimism.
Keelah Se'lai.
Me.
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