Found Angel Sunday, December 19, 2004 in scarlet_dragon

So I did find my cat finally outside I guess she was hiding somewhere that was warm but she won't come in the garage for the nite and it's supposto be like -10 degrees out ...but o well I'm sure she will be fine...Angel is my Christmas cat I got her 15 years ago for a gift and we had to name them Christmas names and I saw the Angel on the tree and named her that her sister...my sister's cat was named Cindy-Lou...but she died about a year and a half after we got her. Sigh not too much to talk about I'm listening to my music and this song sorta remindes me of when I was a freshmen in High School and had a major crush on a boy who was in my sister's grade he was 2 years older then me and we were in like one class together and I began to hang out with him and talk to him everyday and was happy and I could tell he liked me too but he never acted on it and when I heard that he was going to ask me out I freaked out and wrote a note that I wish I could take back but I can't change the past I wrote how I liked him but didn't want to go out and I still wanted to be his friend and I know I broke his heart that day and things were never the same between us...and I look back and realize I didn't want to go out with him b/c I was afraid of what people would say about us...and I guess if I was that worried it wasn't meant to be...b/c I was only a stupid kid then and didn't realize that I could give 2 shits less about what people think about me and the choices I make...but I didn't see that at the time and I still wonder to this day what it would be like if i hadn't wrote that note ...he went on to find another girl and I think their engagged but I don't know...I mean I saw him at the mall the other day b/c he still works at the same place he did when i knew him and he still looks the same I was with Kris but I didn't want to go in and make things all weird....AHHHH Kris was like why did you write that letter I'm like ...I guess I knew all along that I would meet you.and I learned how stupid it is to judge you're life on what people think about you....b/c I know people think Kris is clumsly and not the best looking person in the world but you know what I don't care that's what makes Kris ..Kris and I love him for that and he loves me for all the faults I have in life and you know what that's what really matters...I just wish I could have one last talk with Matt and tell him the whole truth but I guess that wouldn't really change things...cuz I do still love him but I think I just love all the memories I have associated with him and the good times I had I don't think I love him as a sigifiance other..b/c I love Kris and no one else....ahhh you have to love the times when you have to sit around and judge every little thing you've done with you're life..such DRAMA.