I swear I was just talking about how I couldn’t believe it was the start of May and here we are into June tomorrow.
It feels like it’s going too fast. And somedays not fast enough.
Life has been busy kicking me a lot lately.
Same story every single day.
We’re due to travel to my Mom’s in about 3 weeks.
My Uncle passed away a few days ago. I got notice about 2 weeks ago he was in the hospital with sepsis and every update after that seemed to get worse. So when the call came a few days ago it was to be expected. Still sad. I think he was in his mid 70s.
So I can’t get back to my Mom’s any earlier then we had planned for since son has Senior photos here in 9 days. I need to be here for that. if the service was after that then maybe we could go up sooner. I don’t know. Only other option is my Mom drives to get me and we leave the next day back to her place then the two of them drive to her house later. There’s a lot of unknown variables.
Most days I feel like crashing out a lot. I was really feeling down on myself a few days ago when at the shoe store. Sure I can make excuses for the lighting in there being terrible and full length mirrors but a lot of shoes don’t fit my foot anymore and Im just way overweight now. Most days Im like why bother? I can’t even seem to get one issue with me fixed and then 3 more take its place. I know these are excuses too but the current state of the world makes it kind of hard to feel positive about the future.
It’s rough out there.
A week and a half ago I went into my son’s room because washing his sheets was on my to do list. I’m ashamed to say it went wayyy tooo long but when I got in there and started really seeing the amount of trash and junk in his room I lost it. I just picked up 2 bags full of soda cans and junk food wrappers. And just was just a base layer. So I told him you know what we’re going thru your room and cleaning it.
My stupid ass thinking it’d take maybe 2-3 hours top. Oh how silly I was. It wound up being at least 6 days of 2-3 hours each day of cleaning. We cleaned almost everything. There was soo much hair and junk in the carpets too. Every area was went thru trash was thrown out things were put aside to donate. Etc. All in all wound up with probably 15-20 garbage bags of stuff and then 10-15 bags to donate of stuff. I took all his lego sets and cleaned them and got a tote to store in the basement. We’ll keep those and I’m probably going to keep a few books he gave away but I could tell he didn’t really want to. Not a ton of stuff considering how much he got rid of. So now it’s on him to keep it clean. If he lets it get back to a pig sty Im done helping.
Im glad it’s done but a lot of the times during it all I found myself getting really angry. Angry that I was in there working on it and my husband was playing computer games. which Isn’t fair of me he did carry trash bags down and moved things but I dont know why I got angry about that. Or I was just angry in general and he was the closet thing to be mad at. I was angry that I have 11,000 things that need done but yet here I was working on this. I feel 100 times better leaving for a short while if the house in order so I come back to clean and the house was already messy and now my entire living room is full of stuff that needs donated. and my garage is full of things that need to go to the trash but bulk pickup isn’t for another 2 weeks.
So this wasn’t the project I needed to work on but I guess it’s done and now my focus moves elsewhere. This summer the garage and a few other spaces are on my list.
I kind of wish I had a bit more time visiting back home just to space out but it is what it is.
The only really set in stone stuff is son working and my husband does have a dentist appointment that he really shouldn’t skip because it’s hard to get a reschedule there since they are busy.
Anyways. Life chugs alone like usual.
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