there will come a time when your world will stop...
and thats okay...
life will be a hollowed out husk as you look around for anything familiar to hold onto...
the day she died i was dragged into a little room by doctors asking questions about her meds and conditions...
i asked if she was dead...
as soon as i did, i saw this translucent grey curtain drift from my left side to my right side...
as if some unseen hand was closing a curtain over my world...
i was led to the room they were in, working to bring her back to life...
i spoke the words...
everything was spinning and pitching and all i could do was tell them that they had to stop...
i killed my wife as surly as i am setting here...
"She's DNR."...
i murdered her...
any hope of a future gone...
any hope of a present gone...
any hope...
all i have to live in is our past, filled with remnants and dusty things...
not one day goes by that i dont wait for her to walk through the door, call or text...
her birthday is tomorrow...
then comes July 15 the day i killed her...
then the slow comforting silence as the clock resets and the world spins to the next birthday and the next day that i killed her and the silent waiting for her to come home or call or text...
why should there be more for me...
i killed my wife...
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