My coworkers are so stupid. Or maybe just naive? I don't know. I do get the impression that a lot of them just aren't very bright, even though the majority of them are educated and have advanced degrees. But I've said this before.
Having a master's degree doesn't say anything, except that you have a master's degree.
I tend not to associate someone having a master's degree with their having any measure of higher intelligence. At least in my workplace, the two definitely do not go hand in hand. The local university seems to give out master's degrees like candy and truth be told, I think that a lot of those recipients are sweetly stupid.
As I may have mentioned in a previous entry or two, there has been an increase in the number of trainees in our office. The department's hiring spree has gotten so out of control that the office has officially run out of room to house all the new people. There are now new hires occupying space in two of the office's four conference rooms, where temporary cubicles have been put together. Rumor has it that management has already secured a new building for us, but given all the anticipated red tape, unforeseen pitfalls and roadblocks, and how the department tends to take forever to do things, this potential relocation could occur in 2027 at the earliest and likely towards the end of that year. I'll believe it when I see it.
So as it stands, we have way too many people in our office, there's no room to house any more people, and many of them just aren't that smart to begin with.
As has been the case for several years now, management likes to make a big deal when the new hires are finally assigned to their work groups (after about four to six months of formal classroom training), because it is in these work groups where they will spend at least the next year and become acclimated with the job. The theme for the most recent "reveal", as this process of learning to what work group one will be assigned is typically referred, was "bloom where you are planted" or some nonsense like that. Clearly, I wasn't paying attention.
Management gave these 12 new workers each a small light-brown colored flower pot, access to fertilizer, and some seeds for them to become little junior gardeners, if they so chose to be. I believe that the majority of the new workers, maybe nine of the 12, actually went through the motions and combined seed with fertilizer and threw this combination into their flower pots with hopes that they would have a plant growing in those pots within a few weeks. This most recent reveal took place almost two months ago. Some had moderate success and their plants grew decently. Others struggled and barely saw any sprouts develop. I think that at least one person only had fertilizer and nothing remotely resembling a plant or baby sprout.
Our office is located in an area where while crime is not necessarily prevalent, I wouldn't call the area entirely safe either. If anything, there is an abundance of homeless folk who roam and wander the vicinity. I want to think that they typically keep to themselves, but I imagine that there are some of the local bums who might get into things that they probably shouldn't. One of those things would be many of the dumpsters in the area, not only the one for our office, but any of those for the other offices that surround us. I guess there are goodies and treasures to be found in any of these dumpsters. It's just a matter of who finds what first, I guess, and for someone to make a determination if any of those things are considered to be valuable on any level. If you find that watermelon rind appealing and/or appetizing, well then damn, have at it. The end of a loaf of bread? Be my guest. A lone sock? Sure. A spent condom? Well, maybe we ought to draw the line somewhere? But hey, the bottom line is, if it's in the dumpster, I guess it's there for the taking. First come, first served. Help yourself.
This past weekend, a bunch of those new hires decided that it would be a good idea to put their plants outside, along the stairs of the building's west side entrance. The thought is that their plants would all benefit from being outside in the natural elements, where those plants could get some actual and direct sunlight. Being that it rained this past weekend, the hope was also that these plants could also take in some natural moisture, water falling directly from the sky itself. It all looked like the perfect storm, if you'll pardon the expression, and on the surface, it truly seemed to be quite intelligent and it made sense. Plants typically thrive in an environment where they are exposed to sunlight and water. Hell, if I had a plant of my own, I might have followed suit and joined them in leaving my plant outside.
Yes, "might". Meaning there is a chance that I wouldn't have. Why, you ask? Because I know better. I know the area. I know where the office is located. I know that if things aren't bolted down, there's a chance that things can go missing.
That's exactly what happened.
I don't know how many plants were out there this past weekend, but I'm guessing it was a few. I didn't count them when they were there, because those weren't my plants and I didn't care. This morning when I arrived at the office, I saw that someone had put a handwritten sign, written in black ink on yellow construction paper, on the metal railing next to the stairs. This sign read:
----WANTED----
MISSING PLANTS
They were out getting fresh air! A little rain! A LITTLE SUN!
Please Return In Breakroom
Lost But Not Forgotten!
Oh, you poor retarded souls. Your plants were not lost. They were stolen. Any of the local bums strolling by could have taken off with your plants, if for no other reason, than for the sport of it. Plants that don't bear fruit, I would think, are pretty useless to the homeless population. I don't know why they would steal those workers' little potted plants, other than because they could have. Then again, it's not like the local bums are eating fruit anyway, especially free fruit from the myriad of fruit trees that are scattered in the area. Maybe they are? I don't know. It's rare that I ever see a bum eating oranges, lemons, or grapefruit at that street corner as they hold up their cardboard sign asking for spare change or a spare burger.
Now, just above the west side entrance, directly above the door, is a light. Not too far from that light is a camera. For nearly two months, that light has not worked. It is fucking dark when I get to work at a quarter to five in the morning. Yaphet Kotto (11/15/39 - 03/15/21) could be hiding in plain sight and no one would know it. In assuming that this plant theft occurred at night or early morning, in complete or mostly darkness, the camera was probably unable to obtain any useful footage. Security likely won't be able to identify anyone, even if they wanted to. If the theft happened during the day, it still doesn't matter because no one is going to care enough to write down descriptions, try to discern faces and make out other identifying traits of the perpetrators, and otherwise go after the thieves. These plants are as good as gone, as are the bums who stole those plants. Lost fucking cause.
Maybe as part of the new hires' training, the powers that be ought to make it known that the immediate vicinity where the office is located is not necessarily a safe place? There are homeless folk that frequent and probably live in the area. Cars, both department owned and personally owned vehicles, are habitually vandalized and/or broken into. The building has security for a reason, even though they're usually sleeping or not really doing much of anything, even when they make their rounds. For good measure, any incoming employees should be advised that if there's anything they wish to keep and not see go missing, they probably shouldn't leave those things outside. And this would include plants, whether sprouting, dead, or anywhere in between those two extremes.

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