Can’t believe we’re already into April around here.
Every evening around this time I tell myself that tomorrow I’ll get my shit together and get something done. Then tomorrow comes around and I do nothing. Or it feels like I do nothing.
I thought typing out massively long to do lists would help get things off my brain and organized and then I’d start checking things off but I have not.
It just seems like one crazy thing will happen the start of the week and then I want to do nothing the rest of the week.
Last week Monday was the first day back for my kid after spring break wound up with him puking all over the hallway and into the bathroom again. It’s frustrating because I don’t know if it’s caused by him overeating bullshit food all the time or anxiety over going back to school. I don’t know. I can’t monitor his eating anymore. It’s excessive. I know I need to start leading a better lifestyle around here but it’s also really hard to want to find anything to give a shit in anymore when I feel like the sitting asshole of a president is going to get us all killed.
Like why bother paying taxes when the wealthy have been shit bags taking advantage of the little guys? Why bother doing anything we’re suppose to when those who are in charge aren’t?
Anyways.
I try to keep political shit off my page but it’s too much most days now. And it’s spilling over into every facet of life.
Easter Sunday today. My Birthday comes in about 3 weeks about. I could kinda care less. I just need the midterms to still go on as planned or we’re going to have a lot more issues on our hands.
Sigh.
This is not what I thought my 40s would look like. I have dreams of sometimes just selling every single item I own and running off screaming into the woods. I won’t do that I know but somedays it’s hard to find a point to daily things.
Like I keep amassing this stuff and none of it helps in any way it just makes things more stressful in the long run. Wasting money, finding a place for it all, cleaning it, getting rid of it, donating it etc.
Oh well I keep trying to trudge on. Mentally I think going back on BC helps. I have those thoughts in my head but I have to kind of go looking for them or dig a little more to get to them. As before they were just there all the time. So I guess that counts for something?
So yea. It’s been a doozy of a year so far. I guess I should probably go accomplish something constructive around the house like maybe getting my desk in order. Something small. Because I feel like junk right now.
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