This Monday has fecked more than any fecks have ever fecked.
Started out strong. Alarm went off at 6am. I got out of bed at 6:15 and let the dog out.
Showered and when I got out, I was surprised to see her sitting on the bed. What? No fight?
I started coffee and set out getting ready. Hair, makeup (still a challenge but getting better), clothes, meds. I was looking good, smelling good, and even had time to pack my lunch.
I kissed the animals goodbye and headed out.
Burr, it was cold out. That is should be my first fecked up clue.
I throw my bags in the car (I really, really need to clean it out) and put the key in the ignition.
Nothing.
Fuuuuuuuuuuck!
I should have known. My car does this thing where it won’t start the day after it is real cold. Snow = no car for Nin.
No, it’s not the battery, starter, or alternator.
They are all new.
I call Karma and ask for a ride and wouldn’t you know she was in Nebraska this morning.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuck!!
Can’t get mad at her though. I told her it was no big deal but deep down it was a very big deal.
Then it dawned on me;
Dana left me a jump pack. I could do this. I could jump the car. If I could do it when Dana is home, then I could do it when I’m alone.
I could not. I worked on the car for 30 minutes, said a few choice words, and threw car parts across the garage. That didn’t result in anything but making me later for work.
After calming down, I did something I’m not too proud of; I called Jen. I knew I was making a deal with the devil but I had to get to work. There was no way I was walking to the other end of town. I’ve done it before but not now, my leg would be killing me.
10 minutes later she sitting in my alley and she was…….normal. All the way to work. Maybe she had grown up a little? Changed? Chilled out? Maybe that was just a little foreshadowing?
Work was work. A pretty good day was had by all and my good mood was coming back. I was feeling so good, I even ordered a print to hang above my television.
I was honestly happy when I got the text at 4:50 that she was waiting for me outside.
It’s taken me forever to write this because I keep wandering off. I don’t really want to but I have to get it out of my head.
When she picked me up, it took two minutes for the old Jen to show back up.
“Oh, by the way, if you doctor at the clinic beware; Ivy is working there now” she tells me. No, I don’t doctor there but I do therapy in that building. But wait…there’s more. “Oh, and her and Kip are expecting another kid.”
I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS INFORMATION!!!!
There’s the old Jen. The one that consistently stressed me out. The one that made me lose my hair.
I don’t need to know that. He shot me down when I begged him over and over to have a
baby.
I know shes like 30 but he is creeping up on 60. I mean, will he see this kids high school graduation? I won’t even stretch as far as college. What is it with this chick? What does she have that I don’t? I mean, I never sent him to prison. That’s on her. I guess I was just too nice and I asked when I should’ve just done.
Everyone is like “oh, they won’t last,” when they got married. Look at them lasting.
“You are better off with Dana” everyone tells me. I know this and I have never loved a man harder than I do him. It still stings. The whole situation. Boy, I bet Izzy is happy. Evil bitch. She never wanted us to have a baby. She always said “he loves you more than me already and he would love y’all’s baby more”.
The Burg had always been my safe space.
These are MY people. Now she is here.
I will cut a bitch. Thank goodness my therapy is usually at 5 so hopefully she will be gone.
Staythefuckawayfromme. I don’t care if she is pregnant.
Anywho, it stings and I didn’t want to hear about it.
I told her that we would do something this weekend but that was before her “news”. I don’t really want to now.
So what about the car? Karma (and Josh) came over when I got home. She did the EXACT SAME THING that I was doing and within 10 minutes my car was alive again.
Exact. Same. Thing.
WTH?
Feck you, Monday.
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