I am full of so much grump today. I had weird dreams where I was a better, smarter, more perfect version of myself and woke up to regular, old me with hormonal, chin pimples. Good ol’ menstruation is trying to start so that certainly adds to my grump.
Plus I woke up to my aunt leaving a message on our answering machine saying that they’re coming here on their way from their home in WI to her parents’ place in northern MN. Annie, her daughter, is the little cousin who has decided she’s interested in vet med and writes me letters. She really wants to see me, which is fine, but I would have liked an actual heads up with plans instead of a “Hey we might be stopping by or maybe we’ll go somewhere else where you should go too, at an unspecified time.”
And I will go, because I don’t want to disappoint a child. But I am angry about how her parents treat this whole idolization of me thing. Each time she writes me a letter, her father calls my father and tells him to tell me that she’s expecting a response. No shit. That’s generally why you write a letter with questions. It’s his obnoxious way of trying to rush me into writing a response. I know you love your daughter and want her to get everything she wants. But I have my own shit to deal with, my own priorities, my own anxieties. And I will write your daughter a beautiful, kind, fun, well-thought out letter. In my own time. I am not a plaything. I am not a puppet. I’m an adult with more going on in my life and in my mind than you can possibly imagine.
I really don’t like this uncle. He’s one of those people who is always right. He’s intelligent but, of course, he must always be the most intelligent person in the room because he’s insecure. The number of times he’s made snide comments at my mom because he didn’t deem her intelligent (because she didn’t know some snippet of war history or other nonsense) is absurd. Well buddy, she’s an ER nurse and damn good at her job and what are you doing with your life? Driving taxis? Selling houses? Not that I think there’s anything wrong with either of those professions, but the way he talks and belittles others, you’d think he’d be winning the Nobel Prize for literature or something.
Grumble grumble. I’ll be good. I’ll be kind and gracious and smile and answer all of Annie’s questions because I’m (mostly) not an ass. I just needed to get out some frustration.
Ha! And our house is so not guest ready. There are too many of us living in here and we have animals and we’re too burnt out to clean. If they do end up stopping by here rather than meeting elsewhere they get our full hospitality, including a dirty bathroom, lack of seating, barking dogs, and no refreshments. Heh.
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