There’s a specific kind of devastation in realizing you’ve been speaking this whole time, and no one has truly heard you.
I need to say this clearly so there’s no confusion:
I tried to connect with you. Repeatedly. On purpose.
When I shared something I loved, music, games, and ideas, that wasn’t random. That was me trying to include you in my world.
When you ignored it, changed the subject, or didn’t engage,
It hurt me.
Not a small amount.
Every time.
I need you to understand this part clearly: When you didn’t respond to the things I cared about,
It made me feel like I didn’t matter as much as you did.
I listened to what you loved.
I played your games.
I paid attention to your interests.
I did that because you mattered to me.
But you did not do the same for me.
That imbalance is the problem.
You might have thought everything was fine,
but it wasn’t.
When you talked, I listened and responded.
When I talked, you often stopped engaging or moved on.
That difference is what hurt me.
I was told I’m “easy to get along with."
But what that actually means is:
I adjusted myself to make things easier for you.
I stayed quiet when I was hurt.
I went along with what you wanted.
I made sure there was no conflict.
That took effort.
You didn’t notice that effort.
I also told you something important before.
When I’m not okay, I struggle to explain how I feel.
I need the other person to ask me and check in.
You didn’t do that.
And I’ve noticed something else that matters.
When something is wrong for you, you don’t say it.
You keep it to yourself, let it build,
and then leave without explaining.
I’ve seen you do that to someone else before.
You ended things with them over issues you never told them about.
and they were left confused because they didn’t even know there was a problem.
You didn’t give them a chance to understand or fix anything.
You just left.
It never sat right with me.
And now I understand that this isn’t new behavior.
It’s a pattern.
You avoid difficult conversations.
and instead of communicating,
You disappear when things become uncomfortable.
That pattern hurt them.
And now it’s hurting me.
Because I tried to do the opposite.
I tried to communicate.
I tried to explain what I needed.
And it still wasn’t met.
Over time, I realized something important.
I was putting in effort for both sides of this relationship.
You were not meeting me halfway.
I kept hoping that would change if I kept trying.
It didn’t.
So I need to be very clear about this decision.
I am leaving because the effort was one-sided.
Not because I didn’t care.
But because I cared for too long without it being returned.
This is not something that can be fixed now.
I needed that effort when I was still trying.
If you understand this only after I leave,
Then you were not listening when it mattered.
I don’t hate you.
But I do feel hurt.
And I’ve realized that I was trying to be understood.
By someone who wasn’t putting in the effort to understand me.
So I’m choosing to stop.
You’re going to continue your life, moving forward.
Like turning pages in a book.
But I won’t be in the next chapter.
And I won’t be coming back to this one.
Because I’ve learned that being heard and understood
is not something I should have to fight this hard for.
Loading comments...