Russia Day 2: Trans-Siberian in Magical Realism

So after that dark night of the soul, I pulled myself together, showered, and met my friends for breakfast. It was a beautiful buffet - I had eggs and like 7 kinds of fresh fruit, with coffee, water, and juice. Then we went back to get pastries and champagne, and I’d just taken my first sip when Z walked in. We all hugged/kissed hello and it just about killed me to try and remain calm, appear normal. We all chatted and I couldn’t eat, just held onto my coffee cup for my life, alternating with sips from my champagne flute. My body was racing with adrenaline and I’m sure my face was flushed. He always smells so incredible…he was several feet away from me but I was still so distracted. We lingered at the table until everyone else left, then I went up to my room to do some work before we all met to head back to the airport.

On the way to the airport I met his daughter. Not sure if I mentioned this part before, but yeah. In summary, I have probably ten deal-breakers (other than the fact that I am madly in love with someone else) and he ticks every single one. Too old. Has a kid. Divorced. Lives a zillion miles away. Total player. Constantly checking cell phone. Bad tattoos. Shorter than me. Picky eater. Very very selfish.) But anyway, she is actually a sweet kid, beautiful and smart. Hung out in the Moscow airport, delayed a few times, then finally got on the flight to Siberia. Flight was uneventful, thankfully. Arrived in the airport and met the rest of the delegation.

Here I am at Siberia airport with my girls, from left to right: San Francisco, my new friend T who swims with me at Coney and lives in NYC and London but represents Israel at these things, Finland, me, and Brasil (everyone but T was on Argentina trip too.)

Got our luggage and got on the bus to this Russian oligarch’s compound. (This is not an exaggeration.) We got in, separated out by gender, then got undressed in this poolhouse/sauna building, then walked over to the “ice hole” on the family’s property. I wore a swimsuit and a wool hat, as was not planning to get my head wet. The water was just above freezing, and I did one lap of heads-out freestyle and felt like I was going to die. I started to freak out about the endurance swim - if I could barely do 10 yards in that temperature, what was I thinking trying for 450 meters? Z’s daughter was following me around like a little shadow, which didn’t help my anxiety. I think cats are like kids, they always go to the people who are most uncomfortable around them. Luckily every other female was totally enamored of her, so there were plenty of people clamoring to step in and interact/take care of her.

Coming down the stairs for the ice dip:

Boys in the icehole (just Ireland and the Belgians I think, there is video but not still photos from our ladies’ dip. NB - guy in photo with tattoos is very nice Irish swimmer, not evil Z):

After the dip I took a sauna with the Belgian ladies, and tried to calm myself down. Got dried off and dressed for dinner. I sat at the end of the table as far away from Z and his progeny as possible. Spread was incredible. Fresh fish, meats, cheeses, and approximately one million vodka toasts. I was petrified of ending up dead in a snowbank, so I stuck to wine. I couldn’t eat much but managed to drink most of a bottle by myself.

Some photos of dinner - think these capture the warmth/spirit of the evening:

After dinner I got a mug of tea, calmed myself down, and hung out a bit. Z’s daughter came up to me and very sweetly asked me to go up to the upstairs balcony area with couches and a pool table with her, and I surprised myself by saying okay. We played and hung out and it was honestly delightful. Z joined us after a while and we fell back into our old banter. I no longer felt like I was going to die around him, and things felt good, natural. I still don’t understand what the attraction is with him, but was definitely still there. After a game of pool it was time to go, we put our shoes and coats on and headed out. I sat with them on the bus, then we checked into our lodgings in the Siberian Olympic training sports center. I was rooming with my San Francisco buddy who was also one of my roommates in Argentina. I was getting ready for bed when Z pinged me, asking me to come out and talk to him.

Against my better judgement I met him. We hung out in the stairwell for hours, same stupid back and forth conversation we always have. So counter-productive. Part of me wanted so badly just to give in, but I just couldn’t do it. It would have been so easy, with the weird biochemical attraction we had going on, but everything else about him just repulses me. He said some pretty obnoxious things about A, which was so dumb of him. There is just no competition. I did find out why he cut off contact last week - it wasn’t because I told him to leave me alone (ha) but because apparently this married (!) girl he is seeing saw some of the messages he sent to me and went off on him about how obsessed he was with his “American girlfriend.” (Ha again.) He apologized profusely but the whole thing is so stupid. If he really considered me a friend like he said he did, he wouldn’t prioritize that sketchy situation over even a casual friendship. (I for one would do pretty much anything for even the weakest bond with swimming friends, it is a tight bond and something people might not understand, but it’s powerful.) Based on things he’s told me, I think he could be a sex addict. (Which isn’t necessarily a problem, except when it drives you to do dishonest/unethical/insane things.) At any rate, his entire life is just too too complicated and sordid for me to get pulled into. After too much time wasted talking to him, I finally got fed up and went to bed.

Lost some sleep but overall I give myself one million points for not falling into his evil clutches.

Last updated December 19, 2014