Hazelnut Latte in The Story

I'm a person who enjoys being happy. I'm (unfortunately) not one of those people who can turn sorrow into something beautiful or creative. If I get depressed, I can't do anything. No art, no writing, no nothing. Not until I feel positive again.

When I get sad I stop functioning. I stare at a wall or do repetitive meaningless organizational tasks, the favourite being sorting my iTunes music and making sure I have all of the album art and that everything is perfectly capitalized where it needs to be getting rid of duplicates. That's the only thing that really brings me joy. That or wiping down my computer and making it look all clean and pretty, or thinking of a new way to redecorate (but not actually doing it)

So, that's pretty much been me for the past couple of weeks. I have been working scarcely, and wound up spending too much on Halloween because I get obsessed and now I really need to step it up since I am hoping to make it to NYC in a few weeks to stay with friends there. It's always been New York during the holidays. No other place makes me happy or excited about Christmas.

I was working a terrible, boring job putting together awards for high schoolers in journalism. It wasn't really THAT bad other than the fact I had to pay 2.75 an hour for parking....making the whole assignment really not worth it at all. I was happy they didn't need me the rest of this week. I decided to take a day to study for the GRE which I haven't done in a while, so I headed to the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf which is where I am now, feeling like I haven't been out of the caves (work/home/friends homes) in forever...

But being away from that shit show that was my last job I feel a lot better! I'm attempting to study math and it's not going very well but I think I'm gonna buy a math workbook today and also probably some Vitamins. I feel like my depression might have something to do with the fact I never go outside anymore and eat like shit and don't exercise. DUH. So I guess I'll start going to stupid Yoga again or something. I've just been a hermit, so much so that being at this coffee place makes me feel like I'm on a wild adventure.

This hazelnut latte sucks. Hey this woman next to me is from New York. Their having an interview...it makes me kind of jealous because I don't have a permanent job. Not like I'd really want to work at the Coffee Bean...or would I? It's probably better than Starbucks. I think I'm finally ready to be done temping. I was tempted to flag this woman down who is giving an interview and be like "HEY ARE YOU HIRING ANY MORE?" But then again I'm in jeans and a disgusting t-shirt that says something like "are you feeling lucky" with a shamrock on it so yeah. I dunno.

I don't really like the coffee here anyway. The New York friends are in the midst of so much drama right now. My former roommates are fighting, one of them is trying to move out and the other flat out refuses to sign this thing that will let her break the lease...just to spite her and enjoy her misery. Meanwhile, this girl (the one who wont let the lease be broken) is going crazier by the day and threatening to kill people or herself and is filing police reports on everybody.

I also heard today, that the world's largest ferris wheel is coming to Staten Island. What the actual fuck.

Working at that place really did make me feel like I was in a cave. I was in one small room with no people making stupid trophies....Maybe I do like people more than I thought I did.

Anyway, today I feel better about life so I think I'm going to go shopping and be happy and stop moping. Byebye

~ LB