Up early again for the third day in a row! I don’t know whether this is good or bad since I seem to be exhaused by the middle of the day at work, but it certainly helps to get all of this e-mail and goofing around on the computer done so that I’m not as tempted to play around while I’m at work. Of course, I come home and goof around when I get home too, but that’s not always possible.
Like tonight…I’m going to go to the gym right after work and then will probably meet some friends out for cocktails directly after that (gotta remember to pack some “going out” clothes in the gymbag today!).
Yesterday’s meeting with Lance (the guy at work with the strange “thing” for me) went pretty much as expected. We talked business for about 15-20 minutes, and then flirted mercilessly for the next hour!! It’s strange, because it actually makes both of us uncomfortable…yet it continues to happen. And my very gossipy area is so very curious about what’s going on with Lance! There’s a group of “bystanders” who keep walking past my office doorway every so often every time he’s in there talking with me. Even my boss has walked by a couple of times!!
Honestly, I don’t like this feeling at all, but I’m so strangely curious about him. I know I couldn’t/shouldn’t/wouldn’t date him…I just want to figure out his story!
And one of the reasons that I am so uncomfortable about this particular situation is the fact that he can easily get information out of me! I find myslef just blurting out all kinds of things about myself, when it really should be ME finding the stuff out on him!!
Oh well, we’ll see if it happens again today. I really don’t have time for this (I mean, the hours-on-end thing), so I will try to cut it short today. That is, if he just happens to drop by my office!
Even still, all this “excitement” hasn’t made me forget about LDL for one moment. It has helped me to avoid the tough subjects with him, though. He’s sent me a couple of serious e-mails about where he wants our relationship to go, but I have managed to avoid the subject by telling him that I’m so busy at work that I don’t have time to sit down and pour out my feelings/plans for “our” future.
On a sort-of related note, yesterday he sent an e-mail that was addressed both to me and his ex-wife about something that we both have an interest in (we had stopped by her place for a couple of reasons while he was in town). I have always been very…I don’t know the word…intimidated?…by her and the fact that they remained so close after their divorce. She sent a response to both LDL and me, and I sent a quick little funny comment back to her (addressed only to her), and she sent the sweetest, nicest reply back to me. I know it’s stupid, but it really made me feel good.
Damn, I wish I wasn’t so insecure!! Most of the time, I don’t think it shows, but there are the occasional instances where I can just feel the insecurity just oozing out of my pores. I just hate that! Need to work on that (Lighten Up!).
Another thing I need to work on is the little bit of poundage that I seem to have put on during the last few weeks! It’s been easy to do, with the business/out-of-control-drinking-binge trip a couple of weeks ago, and with LDL and I wanting to go out to eat every night when he was here! I have noticed my clothes fitting a little tighter. It’s so easy to creep up…I will not let this happen!!!! But that means I have to step up on the workouts (that I’ve been missing the last few weeks) and cut down on the yummy foods (ie. Mexican, Italian, ice-cream!!). Oh but did I ever enjoy that chocolate milk shake that LDL and I had when we stopped at the old-fashioned burger place that’s a couple blocks from my apartment! Now I just need to work it off of my hips (Lighten Up)!
Well, I suppose I should continue getting ready for work. Yesterday turned out to be somewhat of a morning disaster as nothing would go right..hair…clothes (must have tried on ten different outfits!). I ended up not even leaving a minute early!
At least the meeting with my boss went very well, and she noticed that I have been getting a lot of stuff done (and hopefully didn’t notice the fact that I’ve pretty much freaked out the whole time!). I am much more productive when I’m more relaxed about the whole thing. I mean, yeah…a little bit of stress keeps me on my toes, but freaking out like I’ve tended to do the past couple weeks is extremely counter productive and only makes me spiral into some kind of work black hole!!
In other words…Lighten Up, Crystalline!!!
Have a wonderful day!
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