Oral Dilemma (part 1) in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

Okay. I’ve been putting off writing this entry because it still makes me cringe and sometimes wince to think about, but it’s something that I need to deal with…and fast!!

Let’s go back in time. About two and a half weeks now. I was on my way from Bangkok to Hong Kong on a Thai Airline flight. Can I just state for the record that Thai Airlines is simply incredible? The female flight attendants dress all in beautiful silk brocade, the men in very nice suits, and they bow when you walk onto the plane. As soon as the plane takes off, it’s non-stop service. Course after course of food (which I didn’t eat because I knew I would be having dinner in Hong Kong), bottle after bottle of wine, even fresh orchids are handed out at the end of the flight! It seems as though any whim, desire, and wish that can possibly be fulfilled at 35,000 feet can be accommodated on this airline.

Boss and I got to Hong Kong in the early evening. It was already dark, and I could tell that she was tired. I was exhausted after my “One Night in Bangkok” the night before, but I already knew that my Saturday night was going to consist of some serious bar hopping….and that Boss would not be joining me. How did I know this? Well, it was pretty much planned before the trip even began, and running into one of the head honchos in Taipei who told me that I had to go out Saturday night in Hong Kong pretty much sealed the deal.

Boss said, “I know Linda [manufacturer rep] is going to want to take you all over town, and I’m not going to go. It’s just not my style. She’ll want to go out all night and meet people and socialize, and you two will have fun. So when we get to the hotel, there will probably be a message waiting for you. I’m just not going to go with you.”

Of course, I had to twist her arm just a little bit. That’s part of my job. But she didn’t budge. That’s part of her job! And at that time she had no idea that Head Honcho was really the man behind this whole scheme!! Sure enough, when we checked into the hotel, there was a message from Linda saying she’d pick me up at 8:45 in the lobby. Damn. It was almost 8:30 by the time I got to my room! No time for a quickie power nap! I was going to have to run on fumes!

So when 8:45 rolled around and I got down to the lobby of the hotel, I was greeted by Linda, Head Honcho and another random guy from work (surprise!) who was “not staying out late” because he was playing golf at 7:30 the next morning! Random Guy told me that he’d called Boss to do some more arm-twisting (which meant that the cat was out of the bag with regards to Head Honcho playing a role in the shenanigans…which also meant that she knew that I’d be partying HARD). He told me that she told him that if there was actually a chance that she’d be going out that night, that there was no way in hell she was going after she found out that Head Honcho was going! In case you haven’t figured it out by now, Head Honcho has quite a reputation for overseas partying. And he just loooooves taking first-timers out on the town. I was going to just have to grin and bear the initiation!

So we set out on our adventure.

We started out at a wonderful Italian restaurant in the hilly, cobblestoned nightlife district called Lan Quai Fong. Conversation was fun and exciting as Head Honcho was telling us all about the places he wanted to go that night. I saw a flicker of mischief in his eye. But by that time, I’d consumed probably four glasses of wine and I must have mistook it for a spark of glee.

After an extremely filling dinner, we headed down the road in search of fun. Or was that trouble? Damn. Why did I have to wear the spiky suede boots? I guess it’s because I had no idea that the roads were cobblestone and set at 30+ degree angles. I had no other choice but to walk arm in arm with Head Honcho. Hm. I don’t think he minded the fact that I was leaning hard into him. And off we went!

We started off at this funny little pub that included some sort of karaoke/singalong-type set up. But I didn’t quite understand. Guess it was too early in the evening. After doing shots of I-don’t-know-what, we had our own unorganized pub crawl. Bar after bar. Street after street. That whole section of time was a blur. At one point, I remember telling some gorgeous rugby player from New Zealand that we were on our way to a disco (where he’d been the night before) and that it was very, VERY important that he meet me there. He said no, but I insisted.

Before I even realized, Random Guy had fallen out of the group (golf game at 7:30am), and Head Honcho and Linda and I were in a cab headed to the former Red Light district of Wanchai. Mmmkay. In a couple of moments, we were walking into Joe Bananas…or is it Banana Joe’s? I can’t remember. What I do remember is seeing what I thought at the time was a young, blond Elvis! That’s right! A cutie! With crooked smile and supple lips….and blond hair and blue eyes!! Whoa. It was such a sight among the dark hair and dark skin. He was so cute, and I was just about–> <–this close to schnockered and felt very courageous. So I walked up to Young Blond Elvis and started telling him what I thought about his crooked smile and all that. He was from the Netherlands. There on a date! His date was mad at him for dancing with some other girl or somesuch thing. She had left earlier. We started laughing, and before I knew it, we were dancing. Dancing! Dancing!! Dancing!!!

…and laughing and having a sweet, sweet time on the dance floor. The place was packed and hot and sultry. Arms were flailing and waving about, and I was smiling. His dimples were showing. The room was twirling and music was blasting. As I raised my beer bottle to take a swig, someone’s arm bumped my elbow–knocking my beer bottle into my….

(to be continued…)