Fickle in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

  • Aug. 31, 2002, midnight
  • |
  • Public

I’m feeling so incredibly fickle. One moment I’m crying about LDL and what a mess I’ve made and the strong feelings I have for him. The next moment, I’m wrapping myself around Super T. and holding on for dear life. What’s the matter with me?

I feel especially guilty because I haven’t told LDL about the interview. I was afraid to tell him because I knew that if he knew ahead of time, he’d fuck with my head to the point of affecting my interview performance. I couldn’t afford for that to happen. But now, I’m still afraid to tell him that I went.

I feel like I’m lying to him. Is leaving out large chunks of information considered lying? Or is it just failure to disclose? Whatever it is, it makes me feel like a schmuck.

He’s pushing for me to come out in October. I’ve all but booked my flight. I’m freaking out a little over this. I have a free airline ticket because my travel plans were screwed a little (flight cancellations and such…was stuck in Vegas for a few more hours than expected). So LDL is pushing for me to have an interview lined up while I’m there.

Top that off with the fact that Super T. took me by surprise. I never imagined that he and I would have such chemistry. He’s so funny. And so sweet. And so hot. All rolled up in one delicious package. Yummy. I wish you guys could see his butt. Super T.=Super Fine.

Best Bud just laughs and laughs when I talk about him on the phone. She tells me that he’s my flavor of the month. Tells me that if I get this job, I will be spending a lot of time traveling all over the world and will have different flavors to taste in each country!

Exciting, yes.

But it would sure be nice to come home to someone. To know that I will grow old with someone. To have someone with me in my dying days. And all the days leading up.


Last updated 4 days ago


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