Operation Outta There: Her Reaction in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

Had to wait a torturous amount of time before I could hand Big Boss my letter of resignation. Our meeting wasn’t until 1:00, and by that time I’d just about come unglued. I couldn’t eat a thing for lunch. So what did I do? I spent my entire lunch hour pulling status reports on my projects together. I had extra charts and reports together on an emergency project that I’d been thrown at the last minute on Friday; I did an extra write-up of some information that I got in New York; I pulled a pricing detail report together (mostly out of my ass); and I had all of my time and action calendar updated so that my new designer will be able to pick right up where I left off.

I was shaking when I walked into her office. I sat down with all of my paperwork, and I could tell she was waiting for me to start going over the emergency project from Friday.

Instead I took a big breath, looked her square in the eye, and started right in on my schpeil. As I kept talking, I noticed her eyes getting bigger and bigger and finally she said….

“No.”

And I smiled, “Yes.”

And then she cried, “NOOOOOOO!!!”

And slammed her head down on the desk!! And pounded it with her fists!! When she finally lifted her head back up, she sorta held it in her hands and said, “Just when I thought I had everything together, it all falls apart!”

She went on to explain that her secretary quit earlier that day! Whoops!

And then the words that just killed me: “I guess nobody wants to work for me.”

[cricket chirps]

I just sat there with an amazed look on my face. What the hell was I supposed to say to that?! Finally I mustered something about how it was nothing personal, that I’d just gotten an offer that was so amazing that I would be foolish to let the opportunity slip away. And I explained the whole thing and never once said a negative word.

So she asked me some details, like if I had a better offer and if it was more money, yada, yada. And then she wanted to know where I was going. I told her that the company had asked me not to say…so she started playing a guessing game!! She started naming names and locations, and at first I was all….No, No, No….when she’d guess a place or a company. But then I thought, this is ridiculous. I told her that I really needed to respect the wishes of my new company and I didn’t want to play her game anymore.

So when she realized that I really wasn’t going to tell, she went back into her woe-is-me mode. She told me that my area of responsibility is going to fall apart without me.

When she said that, my insides did a leap for joy! But I pulled out my paperwork and explained to her that I practically already had the whole line put to bed. That before I leave, I’ll have everything so together that my area will be running itself for a long while after I’m gone.

I reassured her!! What the hell?

And she still had a worried look on her face. She told me that she has problems. Major problems. And that she probably shouldn’t be telling me what she was about to tell me, but since I’m leaving and all…..

She burst into a 25-minute rant about Mr. Peepers!! She ripped him up one side and down the other and told me that she was so concerned about the job that he’s doing. That she doesn’t understand what’s going on with him, and how much/little he really knows/does.

And I soooooooo wanted to say, well fuck you, bitch. This is the guy that you hired over me!!! You gave him the promotion that I was promised. You hired some high-priced, fancy-pants, slick-talking pretty boy who has no clue about the job and gave him a salary that I know is double what I was making, and told him to make my life miserable (which he actually has admitted to recently), and wrapped him under your nasty ass wing. That’s your fucking problem, not mine.

Instead, I just looked at her and sighed and kinda shrugged my shoulders and shook my head in feigned sympathy.

And I reassured her some more about the upcoming Far East trip and how I had it all covered and that the new designer would be able to pick up the ball (which I know for a fact that he’s going to fall FLAT ON HIS FACE….but again, that’s not my problem anymore).

I went over my paperwork with her. And she even told me that I’d gone above and beyond what was expected and thanked me for my work. And sheepishly asked me if I could help her set up for a meeting with the CEO on Friday.

And I said, “Of course.”

And I walked out of that office feeling as though I’d left a tremendous weight in there.

Right on her desk.