More…..eh. in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

Woke up first thing this morning analyzing and reanalyzing. Replaying every moment of our time together over the weekend. Super T and me.

I don’t want to think about him so much, but these things are still so fresh in my mind. My triceps are sore from lovin’ on him that special way. Special only to us. I know it. It makes him crazy. He makes me crazy.

Wish I had enjoyed more and fretted less. Wish I could just bask in the glow like I do with Canuk (my New York honey). Speaking of Canuk, he called me on Saturday night while Super T and I were driving back to his place. I wasn’t going to answer, but Super T was nudging me like it might be one of “our” friends calling to make more plans for the weekend. Had a bit of an awkward conversation. Sort of danced around and explanation of Canuk to Super T when I got off the phone. I was so nervous about the phone call itself and how I was going to explain it, that I can’t even remember what Canuk said.

Super T had trouble sleeping while I was there. Said I took over the bed. Stole the covers. Wallowed. I felt awful when he told me that. So the next night I tried to stay out of his way. I tried not to touch him, even. It made me so sad. Until he swept me up into his arms and made love to me.

Thinking back, the whole weekend was tense. We both tried to make each other comfortable. I think we both may have tried too hard.

Whatever. I’m not going to bring up the subject of Thanksgiving with him. He’s going to have to bring it up. He’s going to have to invite me. And I have the feeling that he won’t unless I broach the topic. So I’ll try to spare him from feeling obligated, even though I think he already feels that way.

We’ll see. We’ll see if he even calls.

Get over it. Move on. Make contingency plans for Turkey Day.

It’s freezing outside. I do not want to face the world today. The cat has gotten so used to me getting up before the crack of dawn that he now thinks 3:30 am is wake-up time. Grrrrrr. Having lots of trouble sleeping lately.

Well, I need to get in the shower now. Unfortunately, facing the world is necessary today. It may not be pretty, but it’s a fact.

Let’s make the most of it.