And so its Monday again. I think this will be the first full week I will be spending in the office and not traveling somewhere since Ive been with the new company. Fine by me. Theres so much to do, what with trying to complete the Christmas shopping and get my apartment up to snuff and actually .work and all. I need to use this week wisely.
Called Super T on the way to the dreaded mall yesterday. Not sure when and how our thing is going to fade away, but Im sure it will. I do miss him a little, but I dont foresee him coming to visit anytime soon, and I dont expect to see him when I go to my parents place for Christmas. Ill only be spending two days there.
Was pleasantly surprised to see H.O. beeping in during our conversation. I didnt pick up. Wanted to finish talking with Super T. After we hung up, I called H.O. back. He had called to see if I was interested in having dinner with him. I dont know if I like these last minute invitations or not, but I had been feeling a little lonely yesterday anyway, and some company sounded nice, so I agreed.
Met him back at the Hawaiian place (where wed met for drinks the last time) because we both wanted to try the food. He looked really nice. Wearing a suit! Told me hed come from a little holiday gathering.
We had a nice, sober conversation. I actually remember what we talked about! Theres a pleasant change! Dinner was nothing spectacular, but I wasnt feeling particularly hungry anyway (been feeling blobbish lately). I did end up drinking three glasses of wine. Stopped when I noticed that hed only had half a glass of beer. Is it possible that he feels as strange as I do about our last encounter?
Got a little freaked out when he mentioned something about exposed body parts just like Id said in my last entry. Almost verbatim. I always have this bizarre feeling that every guy I go out with has somehow found my diary and is reading along. I guess its because I found out that LDL had been reading for quite some time before he confronted me. But Ive felt like this with other guys too. Ethan used to say the most unbelievable things when we were out. And once, after we stopped seeing each other, he sent me an e-mail that pertained to things that were going on in my life long after we dated, or whatever the hell it was we did.
I know. Im paranoid. Still, I continue to post the nitty gritty of my life here.
Aneeeyyyway
After dinner, he walked me to my place (!). Pretty sure what his intentions were. In fact, he even asked about seeing my place. But I wouldnt let him come up! Mostly because I still dont like the way the place looks, but also because I get a bit of a vibe from him. I just get this feeling that hes setting me up as booty call material. With the last minute date requests and the urgency of our bathroom make out session I dont know. It just doesnt feel like he wants to go through any handholding stages with me. But I suppose we leapt right past the handholding and the first kiss stages the last time we saw each other anyway.
In one respect, I wish I could have a do-over of that night. In another, it was fun .I just wish I could remember the details!!
Whatever. Id simply like to slow things down a bit, and I think he wants to speed up. Tough shit for him.
Or not.
Who the hell knows how Ill be feeling the next time I see him?
Gah!!! No wonder I have such a tough time dating!! Id hate to try to date me!! Im impossible to figure out!!
So I bid him goodbye with a few (okay, a LOTTA) nice kisses on the front steps of my building. Bummed not to feel a whole lot of sparks. But again, whatever. Things have a tendency change by the second with me.
Better go now. Shower is calling me by my first, middle, and last names!!!
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