Over It. For Now. in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

See? It was just one of those painful waves of loneliness, and now I’m over it. For a little while. Until the next wave hits. Kinda like a period cramp, if ya know what I mean. For me, they are unpredictable. Sometimes they make me double over in excruciating pain, sometimes barely a slight discomfort. Always unwanted, yet inevitable.

I did wake up feeling much better. In fact, I got up and made lunches and cleaned up the mess I was planning to clean last night. Went to work and was pretty darn productive. Went to Home Depot at lunchtime to get a set of halogen canister lamps for the bookcases in my living room. Took my counterpart to get her car out of the shop at the end of work, and then went to the gym and took that damn sports conditioning class that kicks my ass. All in all, a pretty good day in contrast to the funk of last night.

Now enjoying a refreshing cold brewski. Why do I always crave beer after this sports conditioning class? Not like bottle after bottle. Just one. It’s so amazingly delicious. And just one completely satisfies that craving. Yum.

Why can’t affection come in bottles?

Did I tell you that I now have this strange e-mail relationship going on with my old friend and lover…the one I affectionately call Dude? The one who took me out on the night before I moved? The one who asked me to spend the night at his new place that night? Not sure what’s going on there, but we’ve been e-mailing from work practically every day for weeks now. He sends me cute notes and funny links, and even sent a little gift in the mail the other day. I find it so utterly charming.

Why must I cling to my old life like this? Nothing could possibly happen between us.

Maybe that’s why I do it.

And another [verrry dangerous] old flame possibility called me today. It was Jeff. The very married exec. from my old company who took me to the strip joint in Vegas and practically had his way with me in front of the stage (not that I was complaining at the time). He was in NY. Thought I’d be in town. Staying at the same hotel that I will be staying while there next week. He’s leaving Wednesday. I’m honestly really bummed that I won’t be able to see him this time around. He’s actually pretty valuable to me from a business standpoint now…..much more than when I was at the old company. I’m sure there’ll be more opportunity down the road. Perhaps I will be the one taking him out someday….

[I still got it!]

Yes, what a difference a day makes.

Thanks for all your kind thoughts and words and bearing with me through my little waves. I know I can be pretty melodramatic in here. I swear, if you met me in real life, I don’t think you’d have a clue that I’m so wacky on the inside.

So if and when I do get to meet you, let’s just keep that our little secret, okay? Thanks.