Wrote this around 2:30 this morning:
Having trouble sleeping tonight, so I got up to write an entry. But Im having trouble writing too. Urg.
Not sure why Im all in a tizz, but I woke with a start. Couldnt find the cat. Hes usually sleeping somewhere close to me, happily snoring away in his little kitty snore. This time, he was actually sleeping on a big pillow that Id thrown on the floor. Odd. But he jumped up on the bed and snuggled with me as soon as I noticed. Hes such a perceptive little thing.
I mean really. Something seems really strange right now, and I cant figure it out.
Its not work. Lately Id been feeling a little out of touch with my teams and my VPs for various reasons (travel, time crunches, etc.), so I decided to put in a little extra effort and to create a new system for distributing info/sketches/concepts to my teams. Then I set up a touch-base meeting with my two bosses just to let them know whats been going on in my world and ideas that have been rolling around in my head lately. I was worried that they were going to tell me about things that Ive been missing here and there.
Instead, they both told me what a great job they think Ive been doing and asked if I feel like I have all the tools necessary for my projects. They both even went so far as to ask me if I was happy. And to let them know if theres anything that I need [an assistant would be nice, but thats not gonna happen anytime soon]. They really want my position (essentially a brand new position within the company) to be successful. Because quite honestly, its one of the more obscure-type jobs. Its pretty touchy-feely. And a lot of my work is done very independently.
Im glad we had our little chat. I really only need that kind of reassurance every so often. Now I can carry on.
So whats the deal with the sleeplessness? I dunno.
Later (6:30).
Its now morning, and Im up. Sluggish, but up nonetheless.
After I went back to bed and rolled around for a little longer, I had a creepy, freaky nightmare:
I was so super successful at work that I found myself renting a gigantic luxury apartment in some big city (in addition to my Midwestern digs). Possibly New York, but it seemed newer, ya know?
Anyway. Because I was only in this particular city maybe once every few weeks, things were happening unbeknownst to me while I was gone. For example, the doorman would let people in when he knew I wasnt there. These people would just hang out and party and spend the night and rummage around my apartment, finding all kinds of personal things
Including my diary.
One night, I came back to the apartment really late and unexpectedly. I was exhausted from my day and just plopped into bed. I woke to find four girls in my bedroom just laughing away like theyd been out partying all night. When I freaked out and screamed, they seemed unfazed and just looked at me like, what the hell are you doing here?
I was surprised, but too tired to do anything about it, so I was just like, okay .carry on .but please quiet down a bit so I can sleep.
When I got up the next morning to go to work, I let the girls stay in the apartment. I asked them to please clean up their mess before they leave for wherever. I then found myself in the midst of the hustle and bustle of walking to work. People rushing everywhere.
Somebody grabbed me from behind. He held a knife to my throat, and told me to take him to my apartment. I had no idea who he was, but he knew everything about me. He told me things he knew about me, and then he started quoting my diary! Then, he cut my hand with the knife. A deep wound, yet I didnt bleed. I kept looking at my hand, all sliced up thinking, thats really gonna hurt later.
I took him back to my apartment, which was in a shambles. My laptop was out, and my OD page was on the screen! My answering machine was flashing, so I pressed the button to check the messages. There were 100 messages. They were all left by the kidnapper guy in a whispering voice. I could only make out bits and pieces here and there, but they were all about me. My deepest, darkest secrets. Crazy stuff that he knew about me. Each message was more bizarre than the next. And then they got kinda threatening. He was going to blackmail me or something.
I mean, what the hell? I dont keep any secrets that are blackmail worthy!! Certainly no deep, dark secrets!! My life is soooo not what he was making it out to be.
I just remember being scared shitless. This person was totally in my head. He could tell what I was thinking. He was laughing. Laughing because he knew me so well. Like way better than I knew myself! Yet he was twisting things around, making the events in my life sound really scandalous and horrid.
I cant quite remember what actually woke me up, but the dream was really vivid. Damn. I had a nice place. And when I finally got a look at the kidnapper, he was really cute.
My head is a very strange place to be.
Loading comments...