Home again. Another lovely NY visit. Its summertime in the city, and everyone seems so happy. I just love that. Did a lot of strolling through the streets. A lot of thinking. A lot of people watching. A lot of sitting in cafes sipping wine, eating, and enjoying myself (uh, in addition to work even though I didnt have any meetings to attend this timeyay!). I was thinking about the fact that I normally stress myself out thinking of all the stuff I have to accomplish. Not this time. I relaxed and enjoyed myself and actually accomplished more than I expected.
On the second day (Thursday), I was joined by one of the product managers. I really like traveling with her. She can be the biggest beeyotch at workcompletely frazzled and sometimes quite mean to everyone around her. She has a horrible reputation. I understand she was much worse a few years ago while going through a divorce and having some other personal issues. She once threw a phone across a room, aiming at one of her assistants. But shes like a whole different person outside of the office walls. We had some great conversations, and I felt comfortable expressing some of my concerns about some of the changes going on at work. She told me not to worry. Shes been with the company for 20 years. She explained some of the ebb and flow and completely reassured me. Im glad I talked to her.
I also had two whole days by myself just soaking things in, and again, quite a bit of solo time. I was not wild and crazy on this trip. No ridiculous one night stands or desperate attempts to fill some void I think I have inside. I did have my fill of martinis on Wednesday night and met a couple of interesting guys at the hotel bar. Stock analysts funny stories. We talked for the longest time, and they invited me to join them for dinner, but I declined. By the time they left for dinner, the place was packed. Before I could even blink, two other guys moved right in, and one of the staff guys mustve seen all this take place. He came by to make sure that I was okay. I told him to stick around for just a minute because I really wasnt up for whatever he suspected might be going on. I was actually ready to go upstairs and crawl into bed. So thats what I did after creating myself a dinner that consisted of a can of pringles and a diet coke from the mini bar. Nice, eh? Probably shoulda taken the offer for dinner. Oh well. I made up for it about ten times over the next two days.
Was sitting at the darling outdoor café at St. Barts sipping sangria and thinking about how easily I could become jaded about this gig. If I actually lived and worked in NY, theres no way that Id be sitting there at 2:00 in the afternoon on a workday sipping sangria and eating a leisurely lunch!
But I do make up for it when I come back here. Im spending the weekend creating my presentation. It will consist of everything that I gathered in New York (a show-and-tell of sorts) plus a big report notebook for everyone. Thats 15 pretty books to put together. I went to work yesterday at around 1 and didnt leave until 7:30, and theres still a full days work to do. So I need to get moving. Just letting the coffee kick in right now.
Canuck never did get in touch with me after I sent that note (from previous entry). So last night on the way home from work, I ceremoniously erased his entry from my phone and I now finally accept the silence as closure.
But the past continues to haunt just a bit. Super T has been calling and calling. And I just dont get it. We talked late into the night on Thursday. He was telling me how he hates long distance relationships and the reasons why hes been such a fuck when Ive gone to Dallas to visit. He told me how he wanted to kiss the back of my neck that day we met. He recalled our first date and how he just wanted to sit there and touch me the whole time. He reminded me of how amazing the sex was, yet when I asked him why he just disappeared last time I came, and tell him that it was the perfect opportunity to recreate all of that yumminess, he told me that he didnt want to hurt my feelings (?). I think it might just be the other way around. I think that he might think that all I want from him when I come to town is sex. Hm. Could that be the case? I started to ask him all of that and then my phone died! I called him the next morning after my phone had recharged, but he was in his carpool on the way to work. I told him that I wanted to continue the conversation later and he said okay. But I havent called him back yet.
Whatever. Not sure why I continue to waste energy on this one either.
Eek. Energy that I need to be putting into this presentation! I better get going for now. I may update later in the day when I need to take a break.
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