I worked on and off all weekend. When I wasnt at work on Saturday and Sunday, I was trying to relax in my apartment, only to worry about work. Stress. Counterproductive stress.
I wanted to take myself to the movies last night. Instead I paced the hardwood floors, lolled on the sofa, occasionally changed the channels, got up to check e-mail, check OD, check to see if Id made any progress on my presentation outline. Nope. Tried to. Two steps forward. One back. I guess thats progress. But it sure is slow.
Decided to go to sleep and get up reeeeaaaallly early to finish. Woke in the middle of the night, realizing that I had meetings starting at 8:30 this morning and lasting until 1:00 (my scheduled time). That meant I had to finish story boards and the outline before 8:00. My heart was racing.
Jumped up. Showered. Made it to work by 6. Cranked through the final touches on the boards. Cranked through the outline. Amazing what I can do when crunched for time, huh?
Met with the Asia team. My counterpart in the Hong Kong office greeted me with a hug, a kiss, and a small package beautifully wrapped in paper printed with red roses. Her name is Rose. She looks like a beautiful china doll (well, one with streaks of blonde in her hair). I was embarrassed that I didnt have anything for her.
Inside the box was an earring set made of blushing glass beads. It just so happened that I rushed out the door this morning without my earrings and Id noted to myself when I checked myself in the mirror that I felt quite unfinished without earrings. I hugged Rose. What a perfect gift.
Meeting after meeting.
Sports Guy caught me between meetings. I cant remember what Ive named him. Does it really matter? Weve been playing phone tag for weeks and Ive run out of interest. I was so surprised that he actually caught me that I agreed to a date on Thursday. Found myself wishing I hadnt the second I agreed. More stress, but I decided to bottle it for later.
Finally, it was time for my portion. But everyone had already gone in different directions. The meeting rooms got screwed up. Only half the group showed up. Late. It was so discombobulated. I had to stop and start over three times. I think three people paid attention. Rose did. Her boss did. Her assistant did. I think that was it. I was so glad when it was over, but pissed off from sweating that shit all weekend. I so could have half-assed it and nobody would have noticed. What a waste of energy, not to mention my weekend.
Fuck it.
I wanted to climb in bed and cover my head. But dammit, I was hungry.
I went home frazzled and changed clothes (little tank made out of handkerchiefs .I met Super T the last time Id worn it .long, long, time ago. Teeny twinge. On with the jeans, flip flops, makeup well worn off at that point, hair down, unbrushed, wild who cares?). Aah, comfort. Thats what I was longing for. And what better way to get it? Of course, junk food. Walked to the market. Exhausted. I almost picked up a big tub of ice cream. Instead I got a tub of black bean salsa and some blue corn tortilla chips. Just as bad. But oh, so good.
I needed to squeeze my way around someone and as I excused myself, he did a double take and told me I was beautiful. I cant remember the last time thats happened. It was the best comfort food of all.
Crawling to bed now. I hope to dream, dream, dream.
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