FAP (Friday Afternoon Purge) in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

It’s Friday afternoon and I don’t think there’s a soul in the office. I think I can hear crickets chirping. Or maybe that’s just the wind. Can you believe all of this windy weather we’re having all over the country? I’m glad I’m not traveling today. As much as I travel, I’m so terrified of turbulence on airplanes. You’d think I’d get used to it, but I just never have and don’t think I ever will. That’s why I like to sedate myself on long flights. When it gets bumpy on short flights, I usually order a couple of glass of wine and pretty much shoot them right down. And with regards to the company jet, someone at our corporate office screwed it up for the rest of us and now we’re not allowed to have alcohol on the plane at all. But for some reason, that little plane rarely gets to bumping. I do like flying on that plane, even though I smelled alcohol on one of the pilot’s breath one time. Yikes.

Boy. Tangent city.

I’m scatterbrained today. I need to get myself ready for next week, and now would be the perfect time to do it because it’s so quiet in here. But I just can’t seem to get myself going right now. I have to pull together another report next week, and it would be great to start it now. But my presentation will consist of stuff that I’m working on in NY on Monday and Tuesday, so I think I’ll just get my presentation materials together and then get outta here (after I write an entry, of course!).

Supposed to go party hopping with Jill tonight. I don’t feel like it, but I told her I’d go. So I’m going. I look like crap and I don’t feel like doing anything to fix it. I have my hair pulled back into a ponytail and I’m wearing my glasses, and that’s the way I’ve decided to go out tonight.

I got a late start this morning. I got up early, but after I fed the cat and checked my e-mail I decided to crawl back into bed. Not a smart move. I fell so fast asleep and had these amazingly vivid dreams. But the only thing I remember about them was that they were lush and velvety and beautiful. I woke up gently and hazily, but when I looked at the clock, I realized that there was no time to mess around. I didn’t even have time to wash my hair. Hence, the pull-back. And I lost the dreams during the mad dash. I wanted to remember because I’ve been having some doozies lately.

The other night I dreamed that I was pregnant. Heavy with child. And for some reason, my belly was transparent. I could see the baby in there. It was a girl. And I’d figured out a way to take the baby out of myself so that I wouldn’t have to carry her around inside me. I could just hold her in this transparent sac while she did her fetal thing…you know, thumb sucking, kicking, growing, etc. The only catch was, the baby couldn’t be outside my body for too long or she would stop getting the nutrients that my body provided. I had to put the baby back inside me after a certain amount of time. Well, somehow the baby and I got separated for a while. And when I finally got back to her, she was dying. She was shriveling up, and I could see her crying and in pain and it was nightmarish and I woke up.

Scary. It seemed so real. I was sad when I woke. What do you think I was trying to tell myself?

Last night was pretty eventful. After work I went to Tuesday Morning and picked up more stuff for my apartment. I found a beautiful vase for the table in the sunroom and another mirror for the mirror collage, two big bags of potpourri, some glasses for non-alcoholic beverages (can you believe I didn’t have any normal drinking glasses?? All I had were beer, wine, martini, champagne, and juice glasses), and some other crap.

Then I want to a Silpada party. Ever heard of that? I hadn’t. It’s basically like a Tupperware party only with jewelry. A couple of glasses of wine and $220 later and I was outta there. Shit! I definitely hadn’t planned on dropping a couple hundo at this thing! What the hell? But I got my mom a cute pin and I found some great earrings for Best Bud, and of course I found a little sumthin’ for myself…a jangly silver bracelet. I don’t know why I did that…it’s the last thing I need.

I’m dropping the $$$$ like nobody’s business lately. Not sure what’s gotten into me. I hope it’s not awful foreshadowing that I’m going to lose my job next week or something. I’m knocking on wood as I type.

So then I got home and Super T called. We seem to have fallen into this weekly phone sex kinda thing. We’ll call each other and shoot the shit for a while, and then either he or I will say something that is dripping with innuendo, and away we’ll go. At first I was a little shy about the whole thing. I’d get embarrassed easily and giggle nervously or talk so quietly that he wouldn’t be able to hear me. But I’m starting to get a little more comfortable, and I think we’re just building ourselves up for something explosive the next time we see each other in person.

We had just started talking when my other phone rang. It was Secret Agent Guy and he was at a bar close to my apartment. And he was drunk. Very drunk. So I asked him if he needed any help. Or if he needed a ride home. And he told me that he didn’t want to leave his car and started rambling on. So I told him that I was on the phone and that I’d call him back to make sure he was okay.

I got back with Super T, and just as the conversation started getting juicy, SAG called again. More slurring. More bullshit. But this time he told me that he wanted to come over. I told him that I’d be happy to give him a ride home, but that he was not going to come over to my apartment…I know how he gets when he’s drunk, and it would not be very wise to let him come over. Plus, there was stuff all over the place!

Super T and I started talking again, but I was feeling guilty about making poor SAG wait for me to call him back, so I told ST that I needed to go. We were both quite wound up, but he said some sweet things as we were getting off the phone. I called SAG back, but he wouldn’t answer the phone at that point. I left a message telling him to call me back, but he never did.

I got tired of waiting so I went to bed.

SAG finally called me back today and left a message on my cell phone. He apologized and told me that he made it home okay with the help of a friend. He told me that the only thing he remembered was asking me if I was talking to a guy on the other line, and that I was, and that he hoped things were going well with him.

Ugh. These boys just don’t understand anything, do they?

Well, this was quite the scattered entry. I don’t know. I just felt like letting my fingers go for a while. I do need to get going. I’m going to be out of the office by 4 so that I can run to the Home Depot and get some more stuff….extension cords, hooks, tacks…it just goes on and on and on….